Mission: Insanity

Chapter 2: Trying to Get Some Sleep

I woke up to someone standing over me and I started screaming. Or I started screaming and I woke up as someone came over to me. I couldn't tell anymore. There were moments when I knew I was safe and it was going to be ok and I would improve in therapy. And there were others where I screamed in the dark until I started crying and someone would find me. Then it was back to medical for another meeting with the mental doctor.

I don't even know why they bother letting me out. Everyone, including myself, knew I was unstable.

I couldn't be the person everyone expected me to be.

Nathan helped me out of my room and down the hallway to medical. I had stopped screaming, but I knew he had to do it. That was one of the reasons he was given a key to my room. I don't know who else has one because he's always the first to respond whenever I have a breakdown.

"What was it this time?" the doctor asked Nathan.

"She woke up screaming."

"That's normal. Key, I'm going to give you something to take to help you sleep."

He handed me a small bottle of pills. "One right before you're about to sleep."

I looked at the bottle, but I couldn't take it. I shook my head. "No. I can't."

"Brooke, it's to help you," Nathan said.

I started crying. "No I can't. I can't do that."

"Ok." Nathan took the bottle. "You don't have to. Can you tell me why you don't want them?"

I nodded. "I was in there for 38 days. I didn't know that until yesterday. I thought it was less and they made sure of that. I was given drugs that would knock me out and then they would wake me up and move me somewhere else. I was constantly tired and after the third time, I didn't know what day it was or what room I was in. I can't do it again."

"Agent Key, you're safe," the doctor said. "There's nothing for you to worry about."

I looked down at my hand, with all the fingerprints gone. I knew he was wrong.

"I can't do this anymore," I said. I kept having flashbacks that left me screaming, and the only thing they could do to help me is to give me a bottle of sleeping pills that triggered my reaction even more. There was no way to escape it.

It was a cycle.  A cycle that I had to make it through, and not for my own sake.

"Brookie," Nathan started to say something, but I stood up and walked out. It was a slow pace because of my stupid crutches, but Nathan didn't catch up to me. He didn't even come after me. I needed to be alone.

I curled up in the booth in the lounge. There was no one in there. Of course not, anyone awake would be off working somewhere. I was the only one here.

The door opened and Maddie walked in. Maddie was perfect. Completely perfect. She had the best blue eyes in the world, the always perfect looking red hair. She was tall, but not so tall that she was towering over people. She was smart and athletic and always knew what to say to people. I couldn't have dreamed up a more perfect person.

"You good?" Maddie asked as she sat down across from me.

I shook my head. "I can't be good. I can't be anything anymore."

She smiled. "I know. But you have to be. Promise me you will."

"I can't. I keep saying that. I say that to everyone. Literally everyone. They ask me to do something, and I can't. I can't even sleep anymore."