before I die I want Him (0ne Sh0t)

Having him as brother is bothering me. It is so tiresome. Having him beside me all the time makes my feeling for him deeper. He has this unrecognizable side that make me love him even more. 

I don't know what to do. I-I just want to have him by my side until the day I die.

I have this illness and I always tell myself that he was just doing those sweetness because of pity. But the only thing I want before I die is to have him as my first and be with him all the time.

I am Nicolas Jane Samonte and this is my complicated story.

*chapter 1- this feeling*

I was thirteen years old when I had this feeling towards my brother. It was when I was cooking and I accedentaly cut my finger. We are the only one in the house and he was sitting at the isle of the table surffing at his tablet mini. I groan in pain and he almost release his tablet mini in shock. He came over to me and examine my wounded finger.

"Are you insane? Jane, why did you cut yourself. You knew mom and dad is not here!" He roar. This is the only time I saw him angry at me.

"I-I am sorry brother." I said looking at the floor.

I feel him shutter while holding my hand. He touch my chin and make me look up to him. He's eyes is scanning mine in a pleading and worry way.

"I'm sorry Jane,I just... ARG.. I'm just worry about you and I didn't mean to scare you, alright." He said with his natural voice. Yes he was just worry. Cause I am still his sibling.

And then he gave me the best seconds in my life. Ahhhh.. he lick my wounded finger and then suck it like a vampire. I trembled and he notice it. My brother is such a teaser he gave a tight grip of my hand and lick it even more. My body reacted on that and I told myself to take my leave.

I pull my hand harsh but he didn't let go. I try once again and this time I gave my full force. And when I said force maid it, it is with the force of gravity. We stumble on the floor. He was on top of me ang he was holding my head to prevent head injury.

I open my brown chocolate eyes and I saw his dark one. We stayed like that for a minute and I feel something hard in the lower part of us. Before I recognize what it is, he pulled back and leave me there lying on our tielled floor.

Get up Jane, you need to compose yourself. Ahrrgg, I hate this. I hate him leaving me there.

*chapter 2- I love you*

I always remember those memory. I love him. I really do. I want him by my side. But he have girlfriends and I that's why I can't tell him my feelings. And we're still siblings. I, I just don't know what to do.

"Jane, come over." He told me and I did what he said even though I know to myself that I have to hide this feelings for him. Atleast I need to try hidding it.

"What is it brother?" I asked after sitting on the couch. The coch is color red and it was big. All for of us are fit in here. I want him close to me at this moment but I need to hide my feelings so, I sat on the other edge of the couch.

Unfortunately, he closed that space and hug me. "Why are you avoiding me lately Jane?" He ask putting his head on my right shoulder.

"A-I am not big brother. Gees" my eyes open widely because of sudden tremble of my voice. I hope he is not aware of it.