Chapter 2- Two days

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AN- I didn't have time to proof read the second half of this, so sorry for any mistakes!

"I should've done this a long time ago, whether it was purge night or not. You're useless. I would've taken the jail time."

His hands are wrapped around my neck and I am struggling to breathe.

"Please" I make out through his large hands around my throat.

I reach to feel if there are any objects behind me, and luckily I find a medium sized rock.

With all my strength I hit him over the head with it.

----

I woke up, covered in sweat, hearing my own heartbeat. I was shaking all over. My breath raced at the same speed as my thoughts, and it took a long time to calm down.

I looked at the clock next to my bed, 6 am. I had an hour until I needed to be awake.

I thought about calling Dr Anderson, but it's not an emergency, nor is it the purge.

Two days.

The annual purge is in two days and I still haven't figured out a plan. Usually, I prefer to go alone. Last year I made the mistake of going with my boyfriend. That didn't end up too well. We had both double crossed each other in the process.

I might as well get up now, I suppose.

I stood up and could still feel my whole body shaking. The nightmares are getting worse. They always do around purge night.

I tiptoe to my chest of drawers and lift up the pile of t-shirts in the left hand middle drawer. I take out the flask that I had hidden there and drink whatever it was I last put in it. I know I shouldn't, I know Anderson says it's an unhealthy coping mechanism, but it works. What else am I meant to do, mediate for an hour until I calm down or drink for 5 minutes to feel instantly relaxed?

I drank the whole flask dry. It wasn't too bad considering that the flask wasn't huge. It was like a hip flask but slightly bigger.

I had an unfortunate feeling that my anxiety would be flaring up today. I had more alcohol in my room, where did I put it?

I looked in my sock drawers, my wardrobe, and even in my floorboard hiding space. I found nothing.

I sighed in frustration. I knew I'd have to go out and get some.

I put my school uniform on, I felt a bit better since drinking, but my hands were still shaking. It was early and cold outside, so I threw on a baggy grey hoodie over my white school shirt. Luckily there is a not so strict corner shop near me. I have a fake ID but they don't question the fact that I'm in a school uniform. They asked once, I simply said it was a college uniform and they didn't ask any further.

I knew I'd have to leave my mother a note incase she saw that I wasn't there.

I scribbled down "woke up early and went for a run , going straight to school to shower from there xx" on a piece of paper and left it on my bed.

I took my flask and my cigarettes with me, along with a fake ID, money and perfume to cover the smell of smoke. I threw these things into my bag and quietly left the house.

I can't believe I didn't have any alcohol in my room, I was so sure I had at least 2 bottles of something.

As soon as I stepped outside, it felt as if the cold air was ripping my face. It looked like I was already smoking just as I breathed.

As soon as I was eyes view away from my home, I lit a cigarette and walked towards the shop.

My hands were still shaking, so I was trying not to drop my cigarette.

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