Pure Heart (watty awards 2012 finalist!)

Chapter 7

edited by D.G.

Chapter 7-

            I busted my leg. The doctor said it was broken and that I won’t be able to run until the injury heals.  But that’s not all. They said it’s better for me not to run at all. I still remember when I was sitting in the hospital bed with a cast over my ankle.  I had all types of wraps all over my left leg.

  “It’s better for you not to run at all Casey, even after it heals.” he said.  My expression changed from happiness to anger.

  “What?!” I yelled realizing that I won’t ever run again.  “No but, but, but I must run! Running is everything to me! Running is my LIFE!”  I shrieked.  I started struggling to hold back tears.

  “I know Casey, but I’m not doing this to hurt you.  I’m trying to help you.” he whispered.  I opened my mouth to argue, but he stopped me.  “Your leg’s ligament and muscle fibers won’t be as good as before.  Which means the practice you do on your leg regurally, will be too much for you leg now.  Even when you’re fully healed.” I gave him a confused look.  All I heard was ‘blah blah blah, blibbidy, blah.’

    “Your leg will be so weak, even walking will be a big stress to it.  You’re going to get tired quickly, and if you run they will tear again.” he said with a sigh, mad that  he had to repeat what he just said.  He looked down at my legs and gave them a nice pat. “Then they’ll be weaker than ever.” he smiled and I looked away knowing what was coming. I shut my eyes trying to omit all what was happening--what I was about to hear.

 “No more running.”

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            Hearing the decision made me stare blankly at nothing. I wasn't feeling anything except the deep surrrow in my life.

         I turned over to face the window where a bird danced. I shut everything else around me out. I focused hardly on the multi-colored bird and it's skinny legs--claws. I watched it as it jamp freely--so graceful and happy--it's feathers swaying the just the slightest bit.  Something I will never do again. Something that I was born to do yet couldn't-----

          My heart felt like it had just become a hollow shell. My hands shook violently and tears filled my eyes and started slipping down my cheek and onto the pillow.  I couldn’t accept it.  Running.  Lost forever.  My life lost forever. My dog. My soul.

I cuddled into a ball and wept.

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            I’m excused from school for two months.  I have crutches and I’m a walking mess. Walking with these things is so hard! They dig into your armpits and hurt them.  Lucky me, sometimes I’d place a crutch in a hole and I’d lose balance and fall. As I fell I usually end up hitting anyone around me.  I’ve counted, one nosebleed, three tripped, and two between the legs. Ouch. 

           In the begining I couldn't stand the fact that I wasn't going to be able to run again. I couldn't tell coach that I'd quit the team. It was just too hard, and everytime I told myself I'd grow up and get a grip of myself I would fail and start crying right when I started the sentence.

           My mom forced me to go to coach and tell him that I'd quit, but I'd just ignore her and go cry upstairs in my room.  But this time, she forced me and she told me that I was a strong girl, and that she believed in me--yeah right. She said even if I cried, everything would be ok.  It felt good to hear these words, they did in fact make me feel better; but I wondered if she was just playing a recording in her head--repeating the same thing all mothers say just to make their kids feel better--or it was actually coming from her.