Silenced voice

My life

My name is So-yi Yeun, and I can't talk very loudly, sometimes it's like I can't even talk at all from how quiet I am. I wasn't born like this, it was years of trauma on my throat that made me unable to be loud. My mother would punch me in the throat. She does terrible things to people, she would mistreat anyone that she found worthy, or torture them. My mother kills people, but only ones she believes do bad things. But I still know it isn't right. That's why she hits my throat anytime I even see a small bit of blood. She forces me to stay quiet. She says that she has to do that because if I ever told anyone of what she did then she would have to do something worse to me then she does with other people, because if I ever told on what she did then I would become like the bad people she hurts so she would have to hurt me. So I try to keep my head down and my eyes closed so she doesn't have to hurt me at all. I'm almost completely mute at this point. I can still talk a bit though, just at a very low volume. If I speak too loudly then my throat feels like it is burning very badly. This has also caused problems for me at school. At first when a teacher would call on me to answer something I would try to answer it, but they could never hear me so they would make me sit down. Eventually they would stop calling on me. Others say it's unfair since I can still answer in other ways like writing on the board, so I get picked on. But they feel sorry for me since the closest thing to a scream I can make is a small whimper so they don't bully me for long. No one really talks to me since they would normally almost never hear me. I once learned sign language to try and help communicate but it seems I'm the only one in town that can understand it. I don't like this life but it is the one I'm given. I would try to change it, maybe tell the police of the things my mother does ... but I'm too afraid. I'm afraid that she really will hurt me even more if I tell anyone. So I just continue with this life, I don't like it but it is better than being one of her victims, or maybe even poverty. We live in a very nice home so that is another nice thing staying here and doing nothing. We live not too deep in the forest, but far enough to not hear the screams if someone is in the closest part of town. But I still hate myself, I have just accepted this fate, but what else am I supposed to do? I have nowhere to go. So I will just keep being a good little girl for mom, so she doesn't hurt me. This is my life and I'm stuck with it.