Sugar, Sugar ★

Chapter 5 - お別れ.

He had grown to love the Eastern Detective. Paikaru, a violent teen who never tasted a single drop of love from anyone, was able to develop these special feelings on this amazing adventure. It was shocking at first.

The Osakan knew of the dangers of love. In fact, he loved to break people in many ways through purposely damaging their loved ones. He knew how frightening it could be by their reactions, and used it to his advantage. That was exactly why he denied the fact that he had these feelings.

One's 'pressure point' is commonly love. If you have something you love, it makes you vulnerable. And Paikaru didn't wish for that. His pride was in the way.

But ... He really couldn't help it in the end.

He was taught to be merciless. Trained to crave bloodshed. These feelings he discovered, however, weren't cold or dark. They were warm and comforting. They were overpowering. He felt like he needed them. And the thing was, these feelings inflated. It was no longer just about himself. It was about Shinichi.

No more tears, no more dismembering, no more bloodshed, no more screams, no more pain, no more torturing, no more darkness.

Kudou Shinichi cannot end up like the others.

Yet he did. In a way.

Paikaru, not understanding, and not experiencing, had fucked up. It took less than a minute for his life and Shinichi's to crumble apart.

Guilt, regret, guilt, regret, guilt, regret, guilt, regret.
You are a monster. A heartless monster. A cold, merciless monster.

And suddenly, he knew then.

He knew he had no one. He was alone. He was secluded. Forced to be recluse.
He was cold, he was freezing, fighting for survival.

☔︎ *°・. ．『 ☆ 』 ．.・°*☔︎

Shinichi was snoozing peacefully. That was good.

Paikaru was planning on saying farewell.

Although it's irresponsible to leave things unfinished, he knew for a fact that he was a horrible influence. Since Shinichi lost all of his memories permanently, there was no reason for him to kill him anymore either. That meant his business with Shinichi was over. Done.

An emotional cocktail begun to fizz up from within. Paikaru was an expert at controlling his emotions. He was a good actor, being manipulative and all. But it was now that he truly realised how soft he had become.

Reluctantly, he reached over. Combing his fingers through Shinichi's hair.

Why did his chest ache so bad? Why is his sight becoming so blurry? Tears are threatening to cascade down.

Paikaru lost the one thing that meant the whole world to him, and it was his very own fault.

Lips trembled. For the first time in years, he felt tears rolling down his own cheeks. Paikaru stifled back a whimper. This hurt more than anything he had ever experienced. He felt as if he were being stabbed from the inside violently.

He cupped Shinichi's cheek, hovering over him. Lowering himself to press his forehead against his.

There's only one thing he can do to let Shinichi live the happy life he always deserved. And that's to leave. To disappear and never show his face ever again. It might be hard, but they can't stay connected.

Paikaru chuckled to himself. He felt pathetic and cornered.

"Ya were tha worst thing that ever happened ta me. But... Ye were also the best. I'm guessin' that's why it hurts so much."

It's surprising how Shinichi can sleep through this.

"Ye're goin' ta get hurt again if ye're around me. I'm not who ya think I am."

Paikaru drew back, admiring Shinichi's features for one last time. Lips curving into a sorrowful smile.

"Goodbye."