Behind the luna's smile

Pushing them away

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It cute

I thought I found someone 

someone who actually

cared 

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Harper's Pov

Currently, I was curled up by a bed. A hospital bed. The smell of disinfectant stinging my nose and the clear white walls almost blinding with the obnoxious purity they held. The rhythm of her heart rate echoed off the walls bouncing through my ears fueling my hope that she might actually wake up.

I hadn't slept since I found her that day...Well by choice anyway. Sometimes my body just shuts down forcing myself into a deep sleep but I don't get more than two hours. Three at a push. The nightmares wake me up...I haven't left her side. I want to be here when she wakes up so she feels safe. I just want to be here when she wakes up.

I knew I looked a mess. I could feel the bags under my eyes pulling at my pale skin and my hair was just a nest dumped on my head that I tried putting in a bun only to give up. I hadn't had the chance to change from the clothing I was handed when getting back to the pack house...

That was 6 weeks ago.

I couldn't help it. I couldn't bear leaving Miko by herself surrounded by people she won't know and when she wakes up...If she wakes up I want her to have at least one face she remembers. Just one.

She was forced into a medically induced coma giving her small body a chance to recover. They said she would wake up when she was ready and by now she had almost fully healed. A few scraped or bruises and that was pretty much it.

But she still hasn't woke up...

Heyden visited a lot. Sat with me as I cried and tried getting me out of this room. This damn room. But I refused and began screaming bloody murder every time someone tried forcing me from her side and soon they gave up. By then Heyden couldn't bear seeing me the way I was...The way I am so he stopped coming when it hit a month. I think.

To be honest it has all been a blur. One. Painful. Big. Blurr. He could have visited after then but I wouldn't have noticed as my mind is constantly being occupied and tormented by its darkest thought that has haunted me through the years.

Thea finally made her presence known again revealing to me finally she was my and I quote 'badass wolf side'. She tried her best trying to cheer me up keep up a positive attitude until she just faded back into the back of my mind when I finally snapped on her...

 Isabella tried visiting a few times...Complimented how pretty Miko was and how lucky she was to have me and vice versa...I snapped on her too around the third week causing her to stop coming as well. I was just pushing everyone away everyone that actually meant something to me I pushed away because I was scared they would take my attention away from Miko.

_______

"She's lucky to have you," Isabella mumbled standing by her bedside peering down on her peaceful body.
"Yeah...I don't abandon my daughter like some people," I sneered not making eye contact.
"Har-"
"I think you should leave not Isabella," I growled turning away from her and looking pointlessly out the window until I heard the soft click of the door closing.
Letting out a small sigh I collapsed onto the chair hiding my head in my hands.
Idiot.Idiot.Idiot.

She was trying. Is trying to make things better and you keep fucking up. I scold myself once again hating myself.

Idiot.Idiot.Idiot.
_______

I didn't want her to leave my sight ever again...

The painful memory forced its way through my mind taunting me again. Her cries for help as they took her away from me. Her eyes wide with fear before they disappeared...

My hands clamped the sides of my head as the tears stung my skin the only colour that danced on my skin other than the pale white was the burning red of anguish. The color that painted over the purity and controlled me leaving vicious trails down my cheeks.

A small knock echoed through the room forcing my attention from my thoughts.
"Come in," I manage to choke out think it was just another doctor coming to check up on us. BY this time they were checking up on me more than Miko. Asking me if I had eaten if I had slept and all that when they knew the answer...No.

Then I saw him. Heyden.
He cautiously made his way over to me and crouched down in front of my worry and sadness clouding his large brown eyes. I was doing this to him. I was causing him pain as well as myself.
Idiot. Idiot.Idiot.Idiot.

My mind chanted the words over and over until it was the only thing I could hear. Electricity warmed my shivering body as His hand rested gently on my cheek wiping away the stray tear that had slipped from my burning puffy eyes. He tilted up my chin forcing me to look at him.

His brown hair was messy spiking in every direction and he was slightly paler than usual. His eyes also held bags and the once vibrant chocolate brown was slightly duller than before. He looked tired and you could tell he hadn't eaten in a while from his stomach groaning in the background.

"I'm sorry," I whisper as a small smile curls the corner of his lips.
"You don't have to be sorry Harper...I should have constantly been here by your side. LIke a true mate," He muttered rubbing his thumb gently over my cheek.
I just return the small smile as he pulled me into a tight hug his muscular arms wrapping securely around my waist.

I felt Thea purring slightly in the back of my mind making me giggle slightly at her action.
'What? why are you giggling?' She mutter confusion clear in her tone.
'I thought only cats purred' I laugh as she let out a small gasp before disappearing into the depths of my mind.
My arms clung around his neck until a small voice interrupted us.

"Mummy?"

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CHAPTER DONE!

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