City of Light

Chapter 6

I still wait anxiously, awaiting its return. I'm scared because I still don't know what it is, the unknown. I thought I knew everything, the world stopped and I played catch up. I guess I'm still clueless. A few days pass and nothing, I would often kneel over and study it with out touching. Even asleep I feel myself watching, waiting, preparing. Why am I waiting? 

"Fighting one, do you hear my fading voice, still?" A whisper in the distance, reaching, calling. Soft and kind, sad and scared. I have a feeling to reach out and make them stay, your different. Darkness I sit, an empty void, reeking of despair and loneliness, fault. A distant beat surrounds me, constant and weak. 

"I do." I call out my voice echoes and travels forever and beyond. In the distance, a small green light appears. I feel nothing beneath my feet, but I take a step and see a ripple from water, I made the ripple. My feet don't feel wet but, light and weightless. I approach the light and realize it's a heart monitor, their heart is strong and determined I feel, who's is it I wonder. Suddenly the heart goes dead, a line that continues off the monitor screen and falls into the inky black water. I hear a drip from behind me. Splash. Splash. Splash. Those aren't mine. 

"Run little mouse, find your hole and hide, I will drive you out. RUN!" I deep, terrifying, raspy voice crawls up behind me, shaking my spine, moving my organs, poking my arms, running it's sweating fingers up my legs. My heart feels nonexistent, I feel nothing, I'm lost. 

"You're not real!" I scream at the top of my lungs, I curl up in a ball and listen to it's mocking whispers. I squeeze my eyes shut and hope for light. 

"I'm right behind you, little mouse.." I feel it, looking at my with its many eyes, its heavy presence, dark, misleading.

"You're not real..." I whisper, trying to convince my self. You're safe. You're safe. You're safe. 

"RUN!" Its voice shakes my soul to pieces, loud as ever my ears ring my body shakes, my eyes pour tears. I spring up and run through the blackness, it taunts me, it laughs at me. I feel another presence behind me, familiar. It calls my name, it sounds so welcoming. I keep running, it's all a trick, a trap, death. They all want me dead. 

"Who are you!?" I scream as I run, I feel as if I have no voice, nobody can hear me. I am all alone. I don't know how long I have been running, did I ever move an inch? I don't dare look behind me. I feel a force of cold, strong, musty air, My hair flies in my face, my tears roll past my ears, I feel something else right next to me, loving, caring, confident, it has so much pain, so much of it is not even theirs. I feel a strong connection between me and it, I cripple, I stop running, I cry my heart out. My knees touch the water, I feel it fall with me, Then it holds me, hugging me tightly holding my head. I feel it'as heart, I feel so safe with it. 

"Your safe, it's not real. Leave it all behind, cry it all away. I won't leave you in a hell like this, ever. You're safe..." I know it so well, it's been too long. Why did you leave? Why did you never come...? I Thought you had my back. You promised me. You were the only one who cared. I feel all the evil fade away, it's just me and him alone. I feel my voice, my body and my soul connect. Real, it's all real, he's real.

Did you really leave? Did you really hate me? Were you always ashamed of me? Was I really unfit for you? Your out there listening I know it. You were wrong, I'm ready for this, I know what I must do. Go to heaven and drink your coffee and watch your favorite TV. You deserve that, you didn't deserve me. Mom, I can only thank you for disowning me, because I met the person who loved me more than you ever did. I hope you find what you were really looking for.