City of Light

Chapter 16

It rattled my cage, it broke my soul to a million pieces, it changed me. I got lost and eventually, I took a step closer to acceptance. Still, at a young age, I knew what the meaning of death was, I knew what loss was, responsibility. I became more of an adult than my mother ever was, by the time I was propelled into the army, I knew how to obey orders like a good soldier, kill like a soldier and I never thought twice about it. The army gave me a schedule, a simple life to follow, simple orders, simple meals, simple people. I became numb to the feeling of comfort, a feeling of home, the feeling of stability a parent is supposed to offer. After my father's death, his last words circled my head like a shark, it never went away. I became obsessed with the army, but my mother quickly shut it down because "It doesn't look good when my daughter wants to go to the army and die. Maybe be a model someday like me, you have my face after all." I was horrified with the idea of being a mindless puppet, with a pretty face. To obey my mother I focused on engineering in hopes to sell my gadgets to the army. It panned out, and they took it a step further, a step that was a blessing to me, but my mother was disgusted with me. One, for my choice to accept their offer and join the army and two, she was angry that she gave birth to a Vitality. While I was away she quickly remarried, a wealthy and powerful business man. When I came home I was greeted with a slap to the face and ground rules the size of a phone book. We lived him my stepfathers' mansion, I stayed in the guest house. Because "You lived by yourself for so long, you will continue to live that way here, and when you're eighteen you are out of here." While I had my stay at the "House of Horrors" I made friends with one of the maids, Amanda. She would bring my favorite meals to me when my mother would scold me on my eating habits. Amanda would constantly tidy up the guest house, but I told her that it wasn't necessary. That "I can do it myself, don't waste your energy." She told me that she was simply trying to get away from the man of the house, she said she was grateful to be assigned to clean my house and nothing else. I let her do what she wanted, and I would always make her a Bloody Mary when she came over, only one small drink of course. I tried my hardest to make her comfortable given the circumstances. When I became eighteen, I left and gave Amanda a check for fifty grand. For her hard work, kindness, and hope to help get her son into college. She cried and I told her to not thank me. I told her that there would always be a place for her if things go awry. I haven't seen her yet, so I can only hope she got away from my parents and found a better place to live the rest of her life. I continue to make product for the army as my source of income, Mathew now lives with me and things are as routine as they can possibly be. And as of this very moment in time everything is going to hell, I feel as broken when my father died. I repaired myself over the course of fourteen years all for my efforts to be for not. The only thing I have left to do is to keep him safe no matter what, that's the only thing I live for and there is no way I won't go down with a bullet to the head.