The Things I Remember

Chapter 2 James

During the car ride, my memories take over. They come in waves. Huge and unstoppable.

I remember Mom kneeling down next to me and explaining the rules. We made the first rule when I was three years old but we make new ones all the time. They aren't so serious anymore because we make new rules for every new scenario we encounter. I memorized all of them. When I'm bored in school which is practically all the time I write a list of them all. I already filled a whole notebook with them and I'm still not done.

Rule 576: Waffles must be eaten three at a time. No more no less.

Rule 7: It is okay to speak Russian with mommy only.

Rule 854: You must get at least five questions wrong on every third exam, just to give the other kids a chance to catch up.

Rule 10: You must sing the lullaby exactly 2 times to make the nightmares go away.

Rule 1096: Toothbrushes must be blue or they cannot be used.

Rule 1: Don't be scared. 

I repeat rule one in my mind for as long as I can before the next memory comes.

This one is not too long ago. A few months back when Mom taught me some new fighting moves. She taught me how to be a good fighter, for defense so if they came I would be ready. I still wasn't ready. I still need her.

She was so proud of me when I picked it up right away. She smiled at me and ruffled my hair. She let me try it out on her until I had it mastered. She told me that this was the most fun she had in months. After we walked in the park for a really long and just talked. She wanted to know everything she missed in the past two months. She wanted to know how I slept. She knew I had trouble sleeping when she wasn't there to keep all the memories away. It was hard when she was away but I lied and told her that I was okay so she wouldn't feel bad.

The next one is scary, it's the kind that keeps me up late at night because I see it when I close my eyes. It's the man, the scary man with the wide grin and the scalpels. He cuts and cuts and just keeps cutting until the pain becomes so constant that I can't feel it anymore but I can still see. I can still see the man's blood-soaked lab coat. The scalpel slick and shiny with a fresh coat of my own blood.

I take a deep breath as we pull up to my apartment building.

Don't be scared.

"You don't have to come with me," I tell Tony who has taken off his broken armor which is now lying in a mangled heap on the floor of the car. I do not envy the person that get's to clean that up.

"Yeah right, kid."

I do my best to shrug like it doesn't matter but I'm shaking so I think he knows something is up. I lead him up the stairs to our apartment. it's a nice building, but not too nice so we don't attract attention. When we reach the door I am already trying to think of how I should tell all of this to Sara. Maybe I can get her to pretend to be my mom so that she can get him to leave.

I pull the keys out of my pocket to unlock the door but it's already unlocked. That is strange. Sara knows how important it is to keep the doors locked. She doesn't know my situation exactly but she knows enough not to leave the door wide open.

I push the door open and am greeted with the all to the familiar smell of fresh blood. I gasp at the picture before me. The apartment is torn apart. Sara is propped against a wall. Her floral shirt and white pants are soaked through with blood.

"What the-" Tony starts but his voice trails off.

I walk toward her and shake off Tony's hand as he tries to hold me back. This cannot be happening. She can't be dead. But the image before me gives my mind no wiggle room. I am close enough now to see exactly how she died. Multiple gunshot wounds in the stomach and one right in the center of her forehead.