Dancing In The Storm (On Hold)

You're a pedophile

"Forever in my arms you shall lie and I'll bath in the healing light of your love. Be sustained by the liquid nectar of your kisses. I shall care for you like my treasure- breakable, fragile and priceless."

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One month. It had been an entire one month of me going out with Xavier. And yes, I didn't say The Xavier Tynan anymore. It was just Xavier now. And yes, I was still conscious about the attention we got. And yes I still wore Xavier's shirt to bed. That was because everytime I bought myself a new pair of PJs, they ended up either being chopped or vanished. And last time, when I confronted Xavier about it, I was threatened that if I bought anymore PJs he would jack off on them. Oh yes, that was precisely the exact warning he gave me!! That insufferable man!

I think he has some kind of a fetish with me wearing his shirts. Although I've come to love that now. Sleeping in his shirt gave me a sense of comfort. His scent all around me. I liked it. Actually... I loved it.

The few insecurities I had, in the beginning were now completely gone. And today, we were finally going on another date on our one month anniversary. Cool isn't it?

Xavier cannot possibly be a better boyfriend. Sighs.

Right now, I was just going through Netflix looking for some movie I'd probably watch tonight after I come back. I was looking for a chick flick to watch. I'll just make Xavier watch it with me. I smiled.

"You bitch! What are you doing in my house!?" My smile disappeared. I didn't look up at her.

"Answer me brat!" She screamed at me. My eyes stung. I didn't speak.

"I told you to never show me your ugly face ever again!!" She shouted again. This time I looked at her.

"Momma.." I whispered quietly. I saw something change in her eyes. A quick hope passed through me. But then it was masked by disgust all over again. My hope crushed.

"I'm not your mother. You.." She pauses shakily, her lips twisted in a sneer. "You are not my daughter. " I breathed in sharply. Everytime. Every single time it hurt like this. Equally.

"I'm still your daughter Momma." I begged.

"Daughters don't ruin their family!!!" She screamed at me.

"Pleaasee.. Momma.. Don't."

"Why not? The bitch you are it shouldn't hurt you. It didn't hurt you when you killed my husband you bitch!!" Mum was crying now. She was sober, but still angry at me. Like always.

"I didn't kill him." I said shakily. I shook my head furiously.

"You did and you fucking know that you brat! She sneered.
I didn't say anything. She was right. I deserved this. All of this. I did this to her. I made her do whatever she does now. It was my fault.

" I'm sorry momma. Please forgive me. Please." I said brokenly. Fury flashed into her eyes. Weren't those the warm eyes that used to squint with concern of me every time I got hurt. Why weren't they squinting. I'm hurt. Then why aren't they!!?

"Get out." She said lowly. I shook my head.

"No.. I'll stay with you always." My heart ached. What happened next happened so quickly, I didn't get the time to register until I felt my cheek stinging. Mum had slapped me. For the first time in these years, mum had slapped me. It was always words. For the first time, today it was physical abuse. I looked at mum with disbelief. She herself was staring at her hand, probably wondering the same thing. And then she looked at me.