A thousand nights

Epilogue

Hello dear reader,  I would really reccomend you listening to the songs written in bold throughout the chapter as you read, it just helps with creating the atmosphere I felt as I wrote this! Thank you so much for reading!

(taxi cab - twenty one pilots)

There is a time to be resentful and a time to rejoice.

A time to laugh and a time to cry.

A time to dream, a time live.

I, that day, experienced them all.

We stood there till the sky was pitch black and the twinkling stars were so vivid in my eyes that I could've drawn them if only I was given a blank piece of sky as a canvas. I whispered goodbye after taking a long look at her, as if trying to stop my mind form grasping the idea that I wouldn't have seen her again.

I watched as she crossed the road and walked slowly to her house, once in front of the porch she looked back, a dikum smile playing on her lips.

I could just do the same myself.

I walked and walked, my mind not knowing where to go but my feet instinctively carrying me to a place I once called home.

I reached the front door of my house and let myself gaze its facade. The red bricks, the dirt, the roof. My eyes darted quickly to the windows, picturing what I would have been doing if this were a normal summer day.

I sighed.

My feet then took me away from that place, the place where laughter and much  tears had been shed on the course of my residence there. They made me roam in the dark hours of the night until I reached a house I knew well enough, where the simple presence of two people made me feel at home.

I knocked three times.

It took a good five minutes for the door to unlock, five long minutes in which I debated leaving.

Nonetheless the door opened. 

Luke's hair was a mess, the bags under his eyes were only rivals to my own. He looked worried, anxious even.

And before I could say a word I was crushed by Luke's chest colliding with me. He was muttering words in my ears telling me that he knew what happened, that Lauren had just called and told him everything. He  welcomed me in and implored me to remain, that he would've settled everything.

I remember staying up well past midnight in Luke's living room with Ali asleep on my lap wondering about the future. Everything had happened so fast.

'Hey, I brought you a cup of tea, I thought about getting you cornflakes but I think it's a bit late for that' he smiled coming in the living room. He wore nothing but a pair of shorts.

'Thanks Luke, I'm not hungry anyway' I said taking the mug from him.

I thought about what had happened to me in that toilet stall today, how could that make any sense? What is this peace?

'Do you wanna talk about it?' Luke asked with concern.

I sighed 'I felt like I was going to die today Luke, literally' I confessed ' I couldn't deal with the pain anymore...so... so I asked God to take the pain away, or to kill me' I paused 'and I didn't hurt anymore' I couldn't look at him for fear of judgement. I knew how crazy  it sounded but this was what I had experienced and I didn't know what to do about it.

'I don't really know what to say..' he confessed puzzled.

'I don't want you to think that I'm crazy Luke-'