Into Darkness (Supernatural)

XXVI - Society's Outcasts

XXVI – Society's Outcasts

Ever since the case with the Siren, things have still felt unresolved between Sam and I. We never really finished that talk that we had before we found the Siren. I guess there was never a time to.

I pace on the main level of the house. I hate sleeping. I hate closing my eyes even though it's vital for my survival. I hate seeing the dark, because it makes me think that I'm dead. It's the one thing I fear as a human: death.

I'm sure the rest in this house are asleep. I don't hear snoring, but that doesn't mean that the other occupants are awake.

Frustrated and uneasy, I step out into the night. It's a bad idea, as it's really cold out. I rub my arms for warmth as I walk. Ahead, I see Sam standing outside. When I stand beside him, it takes him a few seconds to notice me.

"Jesus, Vera," Sam exclaims.

"Sorry." I feel my face heat up. "I guess losing my Grace doesn't equal losing the ability to be sneaky."

"What are you doing up?"

"I was about to ask the same about you." My brows come together. "Unable to sleep?"

"Yeah. You?"

"I've never been able to shut myself down like humans can. I've never had the ability to...sleep and dream before. It's...it's kind of terrifying, actually."

"What's so terrifying about sleeping?"

"Sam, I am...was an angel. We never slept since we were created. To be able to do that, it makes it all the more real to me just how human I am now. It scares me, because I don't know how I'll take to it. What if I sleep too well and allow myself to be vulnerable to attack? What if someone kills me in my sleep? I don't like being unguarded like that." I shudder. "It may be nice for humans, but for an angel who's never experienced it..."

"Well, you'll learn to like it."

"That's if I remain human long enough. At this rate, I just might be."

"You make it sound as though being human is a bad thing."

"When you're a celestial being and you've lost your essence, then you can understand. Until then, I don't want to hear an ounce of judgment from your mouth." I look at him sternly.

At first, Sam laughs at me. But then he realizes I'm being legitimately serious. He looks embarrassed now.

"I can't sense when others are coming. It's like someone's put my abilities on mute. It's like losing a powerful sense." I bite down on my lip. "We never did finish that discussion we tucked away, you know, since we were fighting a Siren."

"I don't think there's much left to reopen, Vera." He glances down at me and holds my gaze. We find ourselves connecting at the same time; mouths finding each other. When we pull apart, his eyes are full of concern. "You're freezing."

My breath puffs out into smoke in the air. "Yeah...I...I didn't think about the t-t-temperature."

"Here." Sam removes a heavy jacket and puts it over my shoulders.

"Thanks." I sniffle. "Are you an astrologist?"

"What?"

I nod towards the sky. "You're star-gazing."

"Nah, stars were never my thing. I wanted to be the person who fought for others."

"Like a hunter that you are now?"