My Name Is Juvia Lockser (Gruvia fanfiction) HIATUS

Chapter 12: My Mistake Of Not Accepting Her

Gray's POV

We all arrived back at the hotel lobby, I decided to take a walk because I have no idea of what to think. Juvia has been ignoring me lately, I have an idea of why. The way she changed the day I said those things to her, the day she once again ran out into the rain with fucking tears in her eyes, the day I begged her not to stop loving me, the day I told her that I loved her, the day I pressed my lips against hers and the day where I lost the women- the only women who I have ever felt this way for- I love. That day hurt as much as being fucking stabbed. I might as well have been stabbed.

I miss how she talks in third person, it's so cute. I miss how she always wears hats every day. I miss her calling out my name, not just my name but how she calls me Gray-Sama. I miss how I am the first person she says 'hello' to when she walks into the guild hall. I miss her goofiness. I miss how clingy she gets around me because it only reminded me of how much I meant to her. God, I miss that so much.

I didn't show her hardly any affection back. I pushed her away, I didn't just push her away I mentally damaged her over and over again until she couldn't take it anymore. And it was my fault, because I was a coward. I was afraid. It wasn't until the grand magic games after my conversation with Erza that I realised I was crazy about her. But still, I was scared that I would kill her. I didn't deserve her, the thought of losing her was unbearable. That's why I jumped in front of her the time I 'dreamed' my own death. After losing Ur, Ultear and my father I started to get annoyed that I couldn't have her and I took it out on her. I wanted her to go away but stay at the same time, I wanted her to stop these feelings for me because it hurt too much. I am so selfish. There are so many people in this world for her to love yet she chose me.

She made an impact on my life, after the GMG I stopped having depressive episodes about my past because her company filled in the gaps. I started to take note of her habits and the things that make me go crazy about her. I didn't take good weather for granted anymore. I thought about her whilst I was on jobs with the others.

How did she fall in love with someone as selfish, stupid and cold as me?

I decided to walk back from the beach and back to the room as it was almost time for dinner and I had been walking for a while. Once I got into the room I saw Juvia in tears whilst staring at what looked like old pieces of paper and I immediately ran over to her.
"Juvia!" I shouted and put my arms around her, "Please tell me what's wro-" "I'm fine Gray," she said packing away the letters that had previously been scattered across the bed. "Don't act like your fucking okay!" "You're crying!" "You never talk to me anymore!" "You don't tell me when you're sad anymore, I need to know these thing cause I fucking worry!" I shouted. Then she did the unexpected, she returned the hug I gave her and then got up "I suggest you get ready or Erza will be mad." She said emotionlessly.
"See! You're trying to hide it AGAIN!" "You don't need to hide from me!" I shouted, "Yeah?!" "Well why the hell is it any of you're buisness?!" "A week ago you couldn't care less if I was happy or having a fucking breakdown!" She screamed, "You have no idea how much I care about you!" I shouted back thunder crackled angrily in the black sky as rain pounded on the balcony and window. "Sure." She said walking out of the room fully dressed and ready way before I could ever be. Again, I took out my anger in her. I am so stupid.

Juvia's POV

I looked at the clock on my phone and it told me I was 5 minutes late, my eyes were still bloodshot from crying earlier. I get to what I was crying about soon, but that's not an important part of the story right now.

I headed towards the restaurant where we eat our meals and everyone's attention almost automatically switched to me and my eyes. I took my seat and tried to stay silent until, "Say Juvia?" "Where's Gray?" asked Lucy, I responded with "How should I know?" "Why are your eyes bloodshot?" "What happened?" Erza questioned sternly, "We got into an argument," "But it's fine," "I just want to enjoy tonight with my friends and not think about it," I smiled.

5 minutes later Gray showed up and took his seat, unfortunately it was the seat opposite me and we were all sat in questioning seats:
Gray | Jellal | Natsu | Gajeel
Juvia| Erza| Lucy | Levy
Gray kept staring at me, with that cold look he always rejected me with. I tried to avoid eye contact but that made it harder, so I just stayed silent as thunder crackled in the background. I could hardly eat.

Then my mind whizzed right back to when I was fifteen. The orphanage. The empty days. The experiences of feeling nothing. The crimson colour that rolled out of my arm and legs which no one seemed to ever care about. Waking up and your mind resetting itself 6 months believing that your little sister will be next to you, but she's not. The first scent of the Phantom Lord guild hall.
Those beliefs and experiences carved itself back into my mind.

Hey guys, so I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The next one is gonna be filled with Gruvia and the ones after are gonna be funny short-ish chapters of fluffiness nalu, gale and jerza which is gonna be fun to write 😂😄💚