Barrier of Steel

Chapter 1

What exactly happens when you are terrified of getting hurt? Well, the answer to that is different for everyone. In Margret Strawders case, the answer is to completely change your personality. She never had her terrible twos, she was always just a sweet little girl. The kind of kid that always wanted to help out, and put everyone else before her. At age twelve, Margret started to get bullied by those around her. She was called lonely, weak, and a teachers pet. While to you this may not seem so bad, to her it meant every single word of it were true. If it werent for her friends Ellen, Sam, and Patrick she couldnt have made it through.

Ellen had brown, wany hair that gave her face a heart-like shape. She was quiet and shy, much like Margret-Maggie for short. But once you got to know her she was like a tornadoe of sound. Also, she was the center of the group. Then there was Sam. Sam was about a head shorter then Ellen. He long, black hair was as smooth and strait as sanded wood. Both her and Ellen shared the same ember green eyes that could charm an angry shark. Patrick was the only boy in the group. He head a full head of wavy ginger hair matched with hazle eyes. Small freckles sprinkled his nose and cheeks. Though she didn't know it, Patrick had always had a specific liking towards Margret. The fact is, Margret felt the same way towards him. Both of them were to scared that their friendship would be wrecked if they decided to ask the other out.

Margret was the last to tag along in the group, because she was always too shy to talk to anyone. She was slowly pulled towards this group. Everytime she saw them alone, they had their faces burried into books. And, to her surprise, they eventually allowed her into the group. Margret had long, thick, blonde hair. Her eyes were a summer sky color. She had never even put any make up what so ever onto her face. Though she wasnt exactly proud of her looks, she never believed make up made it better. She had more of a round face than oval, and her cheek bones barely showed. When she was five she had to get glasses, but those were quickly replaced by clear contacts.

What had drawn her to Patrick was his caring personality. If you needed someone to talk to, he was always there. He was never one to talk overly much, but he was an amazing listener. Soon enough Margret found him to be her absolute best friend. She told him everything. Secrets, childhoos stories, family secrets, just not crushes. He was her one in only. Her knight in nerdy armor. He was, in other words, perfect for her.

Then one day that was gone. Eventually she had enough of the cruel words, and the mocking. She gave up. At the begining of eigth grade, Margret became a new her. Suddenly books were replaced by make up. Silence replaced by cruel comments. The shy, sweet girl, every one knew became loud and had a need to speak her mind. But, it wasnt her mind. She was still the same person that was Patricks friend. They didnt talk anymore, and that killed her. She would still watch him as he passed her locker. She noticed that he still stared at her in disbelief. But it had to be done. Thats the only way she could live.

And there she was. the start of eleventh grade, and she hung out with the popular girls. Jenna, Amelia, and Rosie made up her new group. She sat and listened as they mocked her old friends. She never piggybacked on those comments. Those were the only people she left alone. She never physically hurt any one, but she knew that sometimes emotional could be just as bad, or worse. It did for her. She tried cutting before, but it didnt do anything. To her, this was a good thing. It truly was. But, the alternative wasnt better either. She was most likely leading other people to the edge of this.

Evey night the feeling of regret and terror washed over her. She would cry silently into her pillow until she fell asleep.She was hurting other people, just to keep herself from getting hurt. The worst part was, she knew it was selfish. It wasnt exactly like she could break the wall now. She had been using it as a safegaurd for so long, how could she just turn back?

Margret was snapped out of her reverie when she heard a soft knock on the door. After a moment of silence, her Mom walked in. Rolling her eyes, Maggie-short for Margret-rolled over and shoved her face in her pillow. The familiar feeling of sadness washed over her as she did so. It happened every time she was rude to people around her. You would think it would just dissappear after two years. But it didnt. Nothing had.

"Margret, you have your first day of school tomorrow. I know we skipped it last year, but do you want to continue the tradidtion of watching "Glee" before bed?" She asked. Maggies heart throbbed to say yes. It had hurt her Mom and herself so much when she turned it down last year. She rolled onto her back and placed the best glare she could on her mom.

"Mum, I am sixteen. Cant I at least have the night before school to myself?" She snapped. Pain crossed Chloe's-her Moms-features as she stared at her daughter.

"Thats fine. I am sorry to have bothered you, sweetie." She said before exiting the room. Margret just went to sleep like that. There was no way she could stay up listening to her Moms sobs fill the hallways of the house.