Allen's Past [A D. Gray Man fanfict]

A Dream of Broken Memories

"Black."

I thought to myself.

That's all I can see now. I was knocked unconscious, somehow. I don't remember the details, but I do know that it wasn't by something human. Maybe I was in a fight with an akuma. Or maybe something worse, Kanda.

I shook my head trying to get the image of Kanda hitting me to go away. I looked around and as I squinted I saw a light. It was small and dim, but now, going towards the light seemed like my only option. As I walked forth, the light semmed to be getting smaller and dimmer. Without thinking, I started to increase my pace until I found myself running. I ran and ran for what seemed like forever, my pace slowly decreased. Even so, I kept going towards the light. Then, the light acted strange. Now, it was getting closer and brighter with every step I took. I ran towards the light with the strenght that I had left. But now, what was this? The tempreture was rising. Soon, it became as hot as a desert. That still didn't stop me. I kept walking; moving forward. Until, the light was gone.

The darkness had come back again but slowly, I saw colors coming. Not colors like red, pink, yellow and such, but dark colors like purple, brown, blue. I blinked a few times then squinted my silver eyes to see if that woukd make the images I see more clearer. Slowly, but gradually, it did. I was able to see a face that belonged to a man. Someone with dark brown hair and a bit of facial hair. His eyes were a dull blue color that looked empty. I swayed my head slowly to the left of me and saw a tall beautiful woman with long wavy brown hair that fell down to her waist. She had cherry red lips and a youthful complexion. With those dark hazel eyes of her, she hypnotized me in her beauty. 'Who is this charming lady?' I thought to my slef. As I looked around even more, I saw more than that.

Bars stretching from what seemed to be the ground all the way up to what seemed to be the ceiling of the room I was in. A tiny chandelier, hanging from the ceiling. No, wait, this isn't a chandelier. This had small objects hanging from it; toys to be exact. This was no ordinary chandelier, this was a child's mobile. Around me, I was sourounded by mountains of different stuffed animals. I tried to stand but I couldn't. I tried to say something, but only small noises came out. Then everything became crystal clear. I could hear what the people were saying, sorta. I coyld hear there voices, but I couldn't fully make out what they were saying. As I focused my attention to them I heard in a deep and dry voice say, "What... you think? Should.... keep him or.... him away?" It came from the direction of the old male who seemed to be talking to the woman next to him.

The woman stayed still for a bit, and stayed quiet. As I kept my attention locked on her I got a warm feeling. It's a nostalgic feeling, like I know who this woman is. Like I'm connected to her somehow. But it can't be true. I've never seen this woman in my life; have I? The lady looked up and that was when I was able to hear everything clearly now. "How can you say such a thing!?" The lady shouted as he checks began to turn a reddish color. She clenched her fists almost like she was going to attack the man. "This is your own blood and fleash we're talking about here! You want to just give him away now just because of something someone told you!? This is your child weather you want to accept it or not!! You have to take care of him and love him, even if people are saying things about him. As a parent you MUST ALWAYS have your childs side!!" Shocked and confused I looked at the old male to see what his response would be. He sat in quiet for a few seconds then said back to her, "Lower your voice the neighbors might hear you."

Even so, the pretty woman got up from her chair and began to shout again, "I don't care if they neighbors hear me, as a matter of fact, let the entire world hear what I have to say!! I don't care about that! All I care about is that you know that you should take care of your own child!! He is not something you can throw away, he has a life too!" A few tears came rolling down the womans face as she yelled at the man. The man got up from his chair and headed towards the door taking his time. He slowly reached for the door handle and opened uo the door. He stepped out the door with one foot and left the other foot on the inside of the room. He looked at me with a angered expression and said, "That thing is not my son." The male then left the room with the slam of the door. The woman waited a few seconds then whaled out, crying. Tears balled down her perfect face as she cried her heart out. I sat and watched confused on what was going on and on what had happened. I looked at the woman curiously, and she turned my way too. She came close to me and wrapped her arms around me. I could feel her heat beat, pounding rapidly. It was nice and warm. It made me feel comfortable and safe, like a place I've been longing for. The lady soona calmed down and looked me straight I to my eyes.

He big hazel eyes, shiny from all the tears she shead didn't want me to look away. Sbe looked serious as she heald onto my hands now. She inhaled deeply and opened her mouth slowly to say, "Remember Allen," She paused to take a breath, but wait! How does she know my name? Do I know her? If I do I don't recall her or the man in my memories. What's happening? Questions filled my head as I kept my eyes on her to see what she would say next. "I will always love you, no matter what." Wait, what is this, a confession? Or maybe something a bit different? "I will love you forevermore because as your mother it is my job to protect and love my child for all of eternity." The word 'mother' kept repeating in my head, like a broke record. 'Is this really my mother?' I thought to myself as I kept looking at her. This lady that does bear a somewhat of a resemblance to the younger me could possible be my mother. if that's the case then why did I forget? Why is it now that I learn who my mother is? Why is it that I was abandoned even though she told me all these things?

Even so, I found myself dripping crystal tears from my water filled eyes. I cleaned my eyes with my left arm and sniffled silently. I didn't want this moment to end ever. I wanted to stay in her arms longer, to embrace the warmth of having a family. Someone who loved and cared for me had always been their, I just didn't know it. All this time, I regret not knowing. All this time, and yet why haven't I known. I guess this is just a memory from long ago that I had forgotten. Even if I forgot I'm glad I remembered. It's better late that never or so people would say. Then, why? Why was I left alone? Why didn't she come for me when I was alone? Questions filled my head and started to make me regert remembering this. Maybe what she told me, was all a lie? It couldn't have been. Her words seemed so real, and her tears definitely weren't fake. Dispite all that, what reason would have caused her to leave me alone? What reason would have caused her to not want me. I have to know; have to. It's something that I won't forget.

My hearing starred to go fuzzy and the colors I was seeing became dull. It was like I was being sucked into a whole other world, all at once. I came to a realization that I was somehow traveling through my memories. I guess being bop on the head just did the trick. As I around and saw  little drops of crystal falling from the gray and gloomy clouds floating up above in the endless sky. A shadowy figure apeared above me. A blur, or so I saw at first then it began to get clear. The face of a lady started to form. It was the face of my 'mother'. Some thing was wrong with this scene though. I could feel some of the rain splashing down on my cheeks, but that's not the only thing. Tears from the eyes of my mother came rolling onto my face too. She was crying, but not for joy. She looked like she was crying from sadness; from fear. She cradled me in her arms for a bit and soon came to what looked like a deserted building. From the look of it, it was abandoned a while back. She sat down on the creaky steps in front of the building and held me closer. Her grip became a bit tighter and she started shaking. She looked down as she gazed into my eyes and I gazed into hers. She cleared he throat and said,

"Allen." She began. She paused for a moment so that she could get a grip of herself. She inhaled deeply and began again. "I know that you're just a baby and you won't understand what I'm about to say, but it's something you must know. Even if you never remember me. The reason why I brought you here is so that you could live." Tears rolled down her rosey cheeks as she said that sentence. She whipped the tears from her left eye and then her right. Then she continued speaking at a slow speed, "The people have been manipulated by your father that you aren't human. For that, they want you, exterminated. They fear the words of a man who is corrupt, but will not believe the ones of a woman who is pleading for the life of her son. Her son who is no less than any of those who are afraid. Because of their fear, they cause an uprising, and I can no longer sit around when you are in peril. I came to a realization that, I am the one who is in fear now, but I have to overcome it if I want my love to be safe. Therefore, I will leave you here in hope that someone will come and find you. In hope, that a kind soul will bring you salvation from this demented wonderland that has been forced upon you. I will go and sacrifice myself, and pray until my last moments that you shall be safe. Allen, I- I love you; my love." She burst out crying in pain and held on to me even more.

After a while of crying, she walked up to the abandoned building and let me down slowly, wrapped in a warm green blanket, on the floor of the gigantic building. She kissed my forehead then kissed both of my cheeks. She kisses me once more and turned around. She shivered a bit in hesitation and then finally took one step away from me. She had trouble taking the next step. I watched her leave me. It was a painful sight to see. Before I knew it I began crying out from my loneliness. I wanted my mother, I wanted her desperately.