reef knot

twenty-one

this chapter will be super draggy I'M SORRY but it's just to explain all the plot holes i have so far :"3 not really a chapter, more like a backstory !!

+

December 30, 2016, 9 a.m.

It takes me a while to actually register and make sense of Yoongi's words.

My eyes flit to meet Taehyung's equally confused gaze, wordlessly conveying my panic and worry.

"What is he saying?" Taehyung asks, and I'm about to reply, when Yoongi starts speaking again.

"Park Jiyoung, there's something I've been wanting to tell you for a while," Yoongi takes a deep breath, and I frown. Judging from his tone, it's probably not going to be anything good. 

"Do you know when was the first time I saw you?" he asks, and pauses for a moment, as if waiting for me to answer even though he won't be able to hear it anyway. "It was on the day your mother died." 

I freeze. "What?" I blurt out in confusion.

"What is he saying?" Taehyung repeats with widened eyes, but I hold a finger up to shush him, giving Yoongi my fullest attention. 

"Truth is, I've been working with Jung Minho all this while," he confesses, and my jaw drops. As if predicting my reaction, he quickly adds on, "I can explain. I know you probably feel really confused right now, but trust me, I can explain everything."

He hesitates for a while, and I picture him biting his bottom lip as he figures out how to start. 

"I disguised myself as a boy scout so your mother would let me into the house that night," he says after an eternity of self-debate. "I told her-I told her I was selling cookies to earn money so I could pay for my grandmother's hospital fees," his tone is distressed, and I imagine him placing his head in his hands out of guilt as he continues. "She gave me this huge smile, then opened the door and invited me into the apartment so she could give me money for the cookies, no questions asked." 

He exhales abruptly, remorse evident in his voice. 

Somehow, I can already predict what he's going to say next. 

"Then Jung Minho just pushed past me and barged into the apartment," he recalls. "I stood at the doorway, just watching him threaten your mother while thrashing the furniture. I don't remember what they were talking about exactly, but I know it has something to do with your father exploding Jung Minho's largest and most profitable casino," he pauses with a sigh.

"Not once did your mother look at me in betrayal," his voice trembles. "Instead, she looked at me sympathetically. As if she pitied me for having to work under such a man. It made me feel so bad for conning her into opening the door. I was about to defend her from Jung Minho, but then you appeared and jumped in front of your mother right away," he laughs softly. 

"I remember thinking that you were really brave. You fought for your mother throughout, even though it was obvious that you were terrified. I would have shit my pants if I were you," he scoffs, as if mocking himself. "Then Jung Minho just decided to stab your mother in the stomach." He sounds constrained, as if he doesn't want to talk about it, yet he feels like I should know. "All I remember is you cowering behind your mother, shaking so badly that all I wanted to do was call the cops on Jung Minho for killing that nice lady and traumatizing her daughter for life.

"But I didn't have the guts to. Jung Minho raised me; he paid for all of my school fees, put a roof over my head, placed food on the table, gave me proper clothes to wear. All I could think about then was how horrible it would be if I no longer had someone to ease my family's financial burden. Dad and Mom were already dead - without Jung Minho, Grandma would have to work. And I couldn't stand the thought of my frail old grandmother toiling herself for me," I hear him swallow. "I'm sorry I was so selfish.