Character Flaws

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

It took an entire month for me to be able to return to work. Apparently two fractured ribs was a ‘serious injury’. The positive side was that Romeo was returned to me by a reluctant Nugget and Jelly. I had had to remind them that I had beaten up a murderer before they brought him back. At first I had thought that laying around all day would be a blast, but it got unbearably dull within the first week. I was forced to seek alternative means of entertainment. One day, I had decided to bake a cake, but lacked the inclination to go grocery shopping for ingredients and so resolved to make it out of what I had on hand. It ended up being beer-flavored sugar soup with a dash of apple shavings. While making the ‘cake’ had been fun, dumping it out the window on unsuspecting pedestrians was even more enjoyable. I found that I disliked being idle. I walked Romeo and visited a few girl’s houses but was eager to be declared fit for work. And not only because I was running low on monetary funds. After my first day back I was sore, a feeling I had been unfamiliar with for a relatively extended period of time. The only acceptable cure for which, according to Nugget, was to drink until you were outrageously, out-of-your-mind, intoxicated. I, feeling an obligation to oblige my friend’s creative medical solutions, agreed to go with him to The Fort. We  went right after his shift, walking together through the dark to the ABC store to pick up a few drinks before we headed to our real destination. Walking inside, I noticed that the place had been somewhat rearranged, the once vast dance floor was being infringed on by a stage, more of a raised platform it was so small. On stage, were four people, three with instruments and one with a microphone, clutched closely to his face as he wailed into it. Behind the drum set a guy a year or two older than me was pounding on the drums, his dyed-black mohawk bobbing with the movement of his head. He had dark rings of mascara and eyeliner around his eyes and dripping downward to flank each side of his mouth. The bass player was younger, not even appearing to be eighteen. His head was shaven and he lacked the make-up his bandmate donned. The guitarist was on the left edge of the stage, thrashing so violently as he played that I was mildly concerned he would fall off. The guy in front was the vocalist. He stood completely still, only his mouth moving as he shouted obscenities into the microphone. In front of them the crowd had been transformed into a mosh-pit of flailing bodies. We watched from the doorway for a while, frozen in surprise and horror at the band’s lack of auditory aesthetics. I led the way around the outskirts of the crowd, sticking to the fringes to avoid being drawn in and trampled. It was uproariously loud. The hallway to the back-rooms was also packed with couples, an unusual occurrence, especially with the proximity of the bedrooms. We shoved our way through, earning several muffled complaints. Surprisingly, the breakfast room was nearly empty. Nugget swaggered past me, greeting a few people whom he either knew, or wanted to. I hung back, cracking open the bottle that  I had brought with me and taking a swig. The bitter taste burned the back of my throat as it went down and I took another, longer, pull. I was approached by a girl, long blonde hair, who I spoke to for almost a whole ten minutes before I could think of some reason to walk away without plainly telling her that her complete lack of intelligence and conversational skills were making me homicidal. It was strange, usually I would have been able to persevere through such trying company but as she was speaking I couldn’t help but compare her general awfulness to Kate’s numerous superior qualities. If anything, she was a travesty. Nugget found me once more and I noticed he had lipstick smeared across his neck and a dazed look in his eyes. Concerned, I pulled him to the side. 

“What are doing?” I asked, looking around to make sure that Jelly hadn’t walked in while I was talking to the blonde. She hadn’t. 

“Partying, man.” He said, grinning stupidly. I frowned and waited for him to continue, hoping he would get the message. He said and said, “We’ve been dating for months, you know?” As if that explained everything. 

“Yeah, I know. What of it?” I pressed. 

“It’s just like, what if she wants to get married or something? I’m not ready to get married!” The dazed expression was replaced by a frantic one. 

“You think she might want to get married so you’re self-destructing?” I asked. 

“I guess.” He hung his head. “She’s too good for me anyway.”

“Shut up.” I told him, shoving his arm. “She loves you and you love her. Now cut the shit or you two will end up split.” He appeared to be deep in thought for a moment, then nodded and went into the kitchen to wash off the lipstick. He came back smiling but didn’t stay much longer. Apparently the only reason he had come was to sabotage his relationship. We ended up in my apartment, crashed on the sofa, drinking beer and flipping through the TV. When it was discovered that there was nothing much worth watching, we settled on a football game. 

“Let’s make this a little more interesting.” Nugget said, leaning forward excitedly. I watched him as he got up and went to the kitchen, coming back with some of the bottles we hadn’t gotten to at The Fort. 

“Alright, every time someone scores we both drink, every time someone throws the ball you drink, and every time someone’s tackled I drink.” He said. 

“And every time the ref makes a call we both drink.” I added. 

“Let the games begin.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows and handing me one of the bottles. Romeo settled onto the floor in front of us, looking awfully condescending for a dog. Not long into the game, we were both too drunk to have any idea of what was happening on TV, our limited knowledge of football not doing much to help. We had nearly dissolved into a drunken stupor when Nugget ‘had an idea’. I should have known it would be a terrible one before he even explained it to me. 

“That play that you were in is premiering tonight right?” He asked. I responded in the affirmative. “Well, let’s go.” Before I could argue he continued. “We don’t have anything else to do. Do you still have your girl clothes?” Another yes. “Then we both go as drag queens.” 

“You want to dress up as a woman and go to play that I was going to be in while I was hiding from a murderous gang leader?” I slurred. He nodded excitedly. In my drunken state, I did not see the great potential for disaster. 

“Alright.” I agreed and went to find the bags in which I had stored my disguise. It seemed like too good a halloween costume to throw away. I found a skirt and shirt which I tossed to Nugget along with a pair of heels. I chose to wear a bright red dress. When he complained, I told him that it was his idea to go, and I was the veteran cross-dresser, so he would wear what I told him to. I put on my wig and decided that Nugget’s hair was girly enough as it was. Nugget insisted on doing his own make up. When it was done, he had put eyeshadow on his cheeks, lipstick on his eyelids, and given himself a mascara-mustache. I dunked his head in the sink and scrubbed it off until his face was red. He complained that being dunked in the water had sobered him up, so while I gave him proper make up he finished off another bottle. His make up ran a little bit from where his face wasn’t entirely dry and he had a bit of stubble but he was nearly presentable. I set a bowl of dog food and water out for Romeo and Nugget and I stumbled out the door on the way to the theatre where untold horrors awaited us.