Try Again

Bleeding Love

"There you are," Cristina said a second after opening the door. She looked down to see what was in his hands. It was a bottle of tequila. "I said I had the alcohol covered! You didn't have to bring any. Although the more, the better," she said as she swiftly yet respectfully took the bottle. Owen laughed.

At first the conversation was strictly about medicine. Cristina's conduit patient, her current research, and change of pace in Zurich. Owen was fascinated as he stared into her eyes while she spoke of surgery. The passion almost oozed out of her and he loved every second of it.

"What about your little department, though? Trauma..." Cristina began, pouring herself another drink. "I heard Kepner's still doing her thing."

"Yeah, actually. The department can't really function without her."

"Oh, sure. Like I believe that," she scoffed. He shook his head and smiled at her. Cristina looked up and realized he was looking at her. She suddenly got caught up in it too.

Owen stopped himself. I should really stop doing that, he thought. But he couldn't help it. It's been so long since he was able to have a true conversation with her. He couldn't believe it, really.

"I'm sure you haven't only been focused on medicine over there."

Cristina looked slightly confused before realizing what he was trying to do. Subtly introducing the topic of relationships, I see, she thought. She raised her eyebrows. "I'm not married or anything if that's what you're trying to figure out," she outright declared. "There's been a few flings but nothing real, you know?" She shifted in her seat, suddenly feeling uncomfortable with opening up about her love life, with Owen. It felt wrong. But she wasn't the only curious one.

Owen nodded. It sounded strange hearing that she's moved on, even though he has done the same. For the most part. His thoughts were interrupted when Cristina asked, "What about you?"

He sighed. So much had happened and he wasn't sure how to put it into words.

"I... moved on?"

"That's good!" Cristina smiled. Owen gave her an iffy look. "Not good?" She corrected herself.

"We were good at first. Things went well and I loved her. Love..." he tilted his head trying to think of what to say. He worried the alcohol was beginning to take a toll on him and he wouldn't know where to stop. "I thought it would be easier, healthier." Cristina understood what he meant by that, comparing the dynamic of that relationship to their own. "But things aren't always what they seem, I guess."

The truth was that Owen was devastated after Cristina left for Zurich. He knew it was best for her but the light in him faded a little. She was the one who kept it burning bright. He wanted to move on as it would be better for him, and he did. His on and off relationship with Amelia Shepherd got to the point of marriage. They were happy and in love. Owen thought this time around would be different. They both wanted kids and needed stability in their lives.

It turns out stability is a myth. Soon enough, deep-rooted issues from their past seeped through the cracks. It wasn't just sunshine and rainbows anymore. Owen and Amelia both have their own problems, and in the end it was too much for them. He still had feelings for her and was hurt when she filed for divorce, though a part of him saw it coming.

Cristina could sense the discomfort in his tone. "I didn't really move on. I mean, there were some people. But nothing too serious. I've been really focused on my research. I'm on a roll," she proudly said.

Owen felt a little relieved that she hadn't currently been in another relationship; then he felt guilty for being relieved. If he had moved on, why couldn't she? But in a way he would always feel protective of her.

"It was hard you know," Owen blurted out. Cristina was caught off guard.

"Wh- what was hard?"

"When you left," he muttered. "Everything.... felt different. Like something was missing. And something was missing -- you. You were missing."

"Owe-"

"Please, let me finish."

Cristina nodded.

"I knew you needed to leave. It would be better for the both of us." He sighed. "Except, it's not. As long as you're here we're going to keep running back to each other. And maybe you used to think, or still think that's a bad thing. But I don't."

Owen couldn't believe that he just said all that. He leaned in a little closer in anticipation for how Cristina would react.

"Owen, I'm not even staying..."

"So?"

She half smiled.

"You're saying that what we have isn't real? That even after the years have gone by, you don't feel it? This?" He inched even closer.

Cristina remained silent for a moment, knowing internally that she definitely still did feel it.

A love like that doesn't just die.

"Of course I do," she finally confessed. "It hurt to be apart from you. But I left for a reason... I can't give you what you want. I'm tired of hurting you, Owen. And you should be able to fully move on without me being in the way. So I'm letting you off the hook."

"Cristina..." he put a hand on hers.

They both just sat there, soaking in every single word exchanged. Their feelings were out in the open, it's now up to them to decide what to do about their situation.

"I have to get to the hospital early tomorrow morning," she said. Owen understood the cue.

"That's alright. I might see you then." Cristina stood up to show him to the door.

Before actually leaving, Owen thought of something quick. He opened his arms out to motion a hug. She giggled and was soon in his warm embrace. Cristina closed her eyes and remembered what it felt like to be in his arms. The hug lingered a little too long but none of them did anything about it.

Keys were heard jangling outside and Meredith then walked in. Cristina and Owen immediately let go of each other and straightened themselves out. "Owen," she said questioningly.

"Hey, Meredith," Owen nervously replied. "I was actually leaving, so..." He turned back around to Cristina to say goodbye.

When he was gone Meredith teased Cristina.

"Hugging Owen?"

"It was normal friendly hug," Cristina defended herself.

"Right. As long as you didn't do anything more than hugging on the couch where my kids like to play."

"No, no, no! Just a hug."

"Just a hug."