The Sun The Moon and The Stars

6. Adriana

ADRIANA

Wala akong bagay na ginusto na hindi ko nakuha. I always get whatever I want. The little things. The big things.  

Today, I have decided that I didn't want to see anything else but to witness my brother die. I wanted him dead. 

I wanted Sebastian dead.

***

My name is Adriana Jane Aragon. 

Ang nagiisang anak na babae ng  First Family. Isang bratinella.  Yung mga toys sa McDo, I had a complete set of those back when I was still young. Everyday my mom and I went to the restaurant, eating anything I requested. Kahit na hindi ko naman nagagawang maubos. We never missed a day going to the place. Ganito kababaw ang kaligayahan ko noon. At ganito niya ako inispoiled. Living as the only daughter of the most affluent and influential family in the country I could easily get whatever I wanted. 

Walang bagay na ginusto ko na hindi ko nakuha. Mom never got mad at me. The country's most affluent woman was incredibly kind and generous, different from the prejudice and expactation of the general public. While her only daughter was an outspoken and playful purple-haired petite young lady. I don't look menacing but my actions surely are.  I am the type of girl na unpredictable at sunud sunuran sa sariling instincts. Para akong wild animal. Para kong polar bear. Cute, adorable, but deadly. I am like a wild animal na ang tanging hanap lang ay ang pagibig ng kanyang ina. 

I could not feel that love any longer ever since my father died and she had to focus her attention towards my speechless brother. Her time was focused on yearning for her dead husband and temporarily muted son. Right then, no matter how much effort I give-in school, in sports, and even in music. Kahit hindi ako marunonong mag-piano sinubukan ko. Masakit sa daliri yung kakapindot. Masakit sa ulo yung tipong puro black and white na lang yung nakikita mo sa keyboard.  Wala na bang maisip na ibang kulay yung nainbento ng piano? A, basta,  naging magaling ako sa pagpa piano para lang mapansin niya ako. Pero kahit anong pagpapapansin ko walang silbi. 

Since then, I hated little Seb. I hated my endearing, naive and very pure-hearted  pokemon-addict little brother. Just because he received all the attention. And since then I had the urge to prove my worth in this family. "I am not invisible",  I told myself every morning I rose up from bed. Madals tumutulo na lang basta ang mga luha sa mata ko. I hated myself. I tried every sort of therapy to achieve peace of mind but nothing happened. I just always found myself going back to hating everything around me. 

I took the photograph of my father and stared at it.  I held it tight until I can no longer help but throw it on the floor with all my strength. The glass frame was broken into pieces I could not count. Maybe this was what my heart looked like inside my chest. I screamed so loud but nobody heard a thing. 

I looked at the photo again and burned it with my lighter. My father. I hated him for leaving unimaginable wealth to my mom. And my mom who moved on from the pains of her past by participating and hosting humongous charity projects to those who are in need and therefore gaining the trust of of the general public. My mom who was convinced by Barry to join the last election as a Presidential nominee and have taken the risk. 

I could not fathom the fact that she gained both wealth and power. I envied her. So much. 

She was admired. Widely. 

I wanted the life she possessed.  The life she was enjoying only because my rich man for a father died early. Because of me.

So I found myself going back to hating myself, hating my mom and hating Sebastian.