SOUTH PARK ONESHOTS

Make me purr {Neko!Reader X Tweek}

Weirdest. Fucking. Thing. I've written. I'm sorry XD

•~You~•

"Tweek! I need your help with something important!" I screamed over the phone. I could hear him make a 'GAH' noise and new I would have a tidal wave of worried questions coming my way.

"What happened?! Are you hurt?! Did you get in trouble?! Oh my god if I help you escape from prison then the cops will be after me! They're gonna-"

"Tweek just shut the fuck up and get over to my house!" I shouted over the phone. He squeaked out an 'okay' and hung up. I stood up from my bed and went to the bathroom, taking another good look at myself. I groaned in frustration once again as I take a look at the two fluffy ears at the top of my head, and then look at the tail behind me.

I knew I shouldn't have taken the fall for fatass. Maybe that demon kid would've changed him into something more degrading. I think to myself, Then again, what's more degrading than a fucking cat?!

"Y/n?! Are you-ngh-okay?!" I heard Tweek bang on my front door. Thank god I live close to the coffee shop. I texted him and told him to come in. I don't want to have people outside to see me like this. I stand at the top of the stairs to where he can't see me, but I can see him. "Y/n?"

"Okay Tweek, before you see me, don't freak out, okay?"

"What is even the matter-ack! I'm sure it's not that-" I cut him off by walking down the stairs. His jaw drops as he stares at me. This might be the only time I've ever seen him so still. I stand there impatiently as he takes it in. "It's bad." He said suddenly. I groan.

"I know it's bad!" I shouted as I began pacing even more.

"Is it real?" Tweek asked as he tried to touch my tail, which I smacked him with.

"Yes and I'd prefer you helped instead of trying to feel me up." I glared.

"GAH! I wasn't doing-I didn't try to-uh... h-how did this happen?" He asks, trying to change the subject. I sigh and we began to sit on my couch. I let out a sigh as I began the story.

It was just a normal day. I was walking back into the classroom from brake to see the walking tub of ham-helper fucking with something.

"What are you doing Cartman?" I sigh as I sit in the seat next to him. He continues to mess around with his pencils.  

"That fucking British kid knocked my pencil off of my desk, so I'm breaking all of his." He grunts as he continues snapping the pencils in half.

"Oh Damien, I'm not sure burning the place down will change the fact the you got a bad grade." I heard a familiar British accent. I look over to see Pip and Damien walk in together, holding hands. Cartman quickly puts all of the pencils down and rushes back to his desk.

"Oh my! My pencils seem to be broken!" Pip squeaked once he got to his desk. I look over to see Cartman try to stifle a laugh. Damien's eyes began to glow red.

"Cartman, don't you remember what I said would happen to you the last time you picked on my boyfriend?" He growled as he made his way over to, a now frightened, lard ass. I felt bad when I saw the look in Cartman's face and tapped Damien on his shoulder.

"Cartman didn't do it. I did. Look, I thought they were Bebe's since she's been a bitch lately, but I swear I didn't-" before I could finish he did his fucking Satanic voodoo bullshit on me and turned me into a cat.

I finished explaining my story and looked over to Tweek. Tweek just twitched as he stared at my ears.

"Why would you stand up for Cartman?" He asks, his gaze on my ears never leaving my ears.

"Because he did look really scared, and I thought that since I've never been on Damien's bad side that he would've been easy on me. I should've let lard-ass out to dry." I scoffed the last part. It's bothering me he won't give up on my ears. "Do you want to touch my ears?"

"W-WHAT?"

"You won't look away from them, so do you want to feel them?" I laughed. He only twitches.

"B-but won't that be-ngh-weird?" He jitters in his spot.

"How would it be weird?" I rolled my eyes. He shrugs and hesitantly places his hand on my left ear. After I got used to his subtle pets, I leaned even more into his hand.

"Is this okay?" He lightly scratched behind my ear. And I nodded and began to curl up on the couch. That is where something weird happened. I suddenly made this weird noise when he found this really good spot. THE FUCK?!

I hope to God he didn't hear that. I hope to God he didn't hear that. I hope to God he didn't hear-

"Gah! W-what was that? D-did I do that?" (So many Irkle jokes I could make...) Fucking Christ this is embarrassing.

"I-um yes?" I blush as I sit up and back away from him.

"What was that?!" He asks alarmed as he stares at me with wide eyes. My cheeks glow an even deeper red. This fucker.

"I think, since I'm a cat and all, I just purred?" God, why do you like my suffering so?

"GAH!"

"It-it's not as bad as it may seem..." I try to pass it off, but god that was embarrassing! "I have to get used to this side of me now." I groaned as I cover my face with my hands.

"It's okay. I'll help you through this." Tweek takes my hand into his own. His face plastered with an adorable smile. Maybe I can get used to this.