My Lovable Emo

Chapter 9

Anxiety's POV

Now that Roman's my boyfriend I'm back to normal. I'm back to my semi-rude, careless, dark personality guy. But only around the others. When I'm with Roman and him alone I express my "soft side" as Roman calls it. I'm easily flattered, I really like to cuddle with Roman, and I let out giggles every once in a while when Roman tries to make me laugh.

Roman is my everything. He makes me feel like I'm wanted. He except me for who I am. And I know we are totally different personalities but we have our similarities too.

And me and Roman told the others, including Thomas that we were totally cool with it. Turns out Thomas is bisexual and Patton and Logan are dating. I actually think that they make a good couple. The heart and the mind. Their relationship is gonna be just like me and Roman's.

Me and Roman are in my room. Doing nothing. We're on my bed cuddling together and just talking. Of course Roman's also playing with my hair.

"Roman why do you play with my hair?"

"Cause. I want too."

"You know we kinda have the same hair right. Just different styles."

"Yeah. But I can't play with my own hair. I'll ruin it. So I play with yours."

I let out a small giggle.

"Your so cute when you giggle."

"I'm nowhere near to being cute. But you surely are."

"Come on. Your not just cute. You adorable, your shy, and your such a softy."

Then I got to thinking about something.

"Roman why do you love me?" He looked at me like I knew the answer to that question.

"Are you kidding? I love everything about you. How you overthink things to protect Thomas, how you worry about me even before we started dating, you anxious personality is who you are, and I think about you all the time. I want to help you through anything you go through. If you have an anxiety attack I'll be there. I feel like I need you in my life for me to be happy. I love you and only you." He kissed my head and wrapped his arms around me.

I feel so safe in his arms. I know Roman well enough to know that what he said is true. I'm glad he feels like that about me. But what if our relationship doesn't work out. What if I have too many anxiety attacks and he breaks up with me? What if I lose him because he can't handle me?

He's right. I'm overthinking this. But I just can't help and feel like I'm ruining his life. Now that we're together I can't help but feel like I'm holding him back. He's the dreamer, Thomas's hopes and dreams and I'm Thomas fear and anxiety. I know after the "Accepting Anxiety" video Thomas said that he needed me but does Roman really need me?

I guess I blanked out for awhile cause Roman was trying to get my attention.

"Anxiety? Anxiety!"

"Huh...what?"

"You ok? You blanked put for awhile?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Just thinking about you." I know I just lied to him but I don't want him to worry about me.

"Ok." He said kissing my forehead. He stayed in each others arms until we heard a knock on my door.

"Roman. Anxiety." We heard Patton calling us. We got up and went to the front room.

"What?" I asked.

"Thomas needs us. He already called Logan." He said. Then we were all summoned. Thomas looked freaked out. I know that look and since I'm his anxiety this is kinda my fault right niw. But I know what happening to him.

"Thomas are you ok?" Roman asked

"N-not really." He said panicky.

"Anxiety your his fear care to tell us why he's feeling this way?" Logan asked. I looked at Thomas and he was being comforted by Roman and Patton. I gave him a 'can u tell them' look and he just nodded.

"Ok well Thomas is pretty scared right now." I said

"Yes we know that but why?" Logan asked again.

"It's obvious. Thomas has a crush on someone and his too scared to tell them." I said. They all looked at me then Thomas and he just nodded.

I walked over to him and calmed him down. He took deep breath and he eventually calmed down. His anxiety is gone. At the moment.

"Awwwww. My son is growing up." Patton said. Thomas chuckled at his statement.

"Ok one. I'm still not your son. Two. Anxiety's right. I do have a crush on this guy and I'm way too scared to say anything about it. And three. Roman I need your help. And you guys too." He said.

"Wait wait wait. You have a crush on a guy?! Awww who is it?" Patton asked.

"Uhhh......I-I can't say. At least at the moment." Thomas said shyly.

"Ok ok. But I'm here to talk to if you need me." Patton said.

"Well were all here. And we know how it feels to have a crush on someone and your too scared to tell them. But here's what you do. Hang out with them more. Find clues and see if he likes you back. When you think he does then when your comfortable you just say what your heart tell you too." Roman said. He is the love expert.

"You sure it'll work? What if they hate me?" He asked nervously.

"Don't think about that. Think about what it'll be like if you do start dating. And if he's your friend then think about the times you had together. But try not to think about the bad things and what could go wrong. Think positive." I said. Cause I know I'm the one causing him to think like that but I'm helping here.

"Thanks guys. I own you." He said. And we were all back in his mind. I hope my advice helps. I'm just trying to protect him from thinking about the bad things. And I think I actually helped him for once. I'm trying my best to protect him from his fear. Even if I'm think about what could go wrong I me and Roman's relationship.