That Bitch..

title of your story or chapter

When I was a little girl my grandpa always made me and my cousins play dominos. I never like to play dominos. It was very boring game and I sucked at it..but I liked to make the dominos fall down, I would spend a lots of time to put them perfecty in the one long row, just for that moment, when I could push the first one to make the others fall down. The minutes of the work was gone in few seconds..

That's how I felt about my life now.

Sitting in the leather chair in my boss's office. She is rambling about business not being good, about taught economy...I was watching her face expressions from sad face to depressed face to I'm sorry face.

“..we can not afford too many people... You know Michaela, you are the newest member of our team..”

Bla bla bla.. She tried to look like she cares, but she did not. She had her Mercedes Benz parked in front of the office, she had her Luis Vuitton purse on the table and her two kids were waiting for her in her luxury house which had a pool and tennis court in it. She did not care about me...my rent that I have to pay or about my bills.

I left her office with the white envelope in my hand. I was positive I got fired. She did not say it into my face – she never said anything to my face, always behind my back. I think it's a new fashion to talk about people behind their backs, but to be nice and smile into their eyes. It's like the mind games..I was never pretender, if i'm angry you can see it, but I always end up crying. I cry when I am angry, happy, sad, frustrated...I suck!

When I got home I could smell roasted chicken in the air.

“Michaela!” I heard my mom's voice. I removed my boots and walk to the kitchen. She was peeling carrots while she was listenig to some radio show.

“Hi Sweetie,” She said with big smile. It's been almost week since I saw my mom. We live together, but she was always gone when I came back from my work. “How are you?”

“I've been better..” I grunted. She seemed to not care.

“I hope you will like this chicken..it's new recipe. Renee and Lila will here soon” I was not in mood to see her so hyper and happy. My mom was never happy. Since she got divorce from my dad she's been sour and bitter, but than,she started to take a dance classes in the end of the November and her altitude changed. My brother Renee, who lives with his girlfriend, was in total shock when he saw my mom on Christmas. She went from zero to 90 in no time.

“I'm not hungry.”

“What do you mean? You have to eat..look at yourself! You lost a lots of weight. And they are on their way ..don't be rude..” I went to my room, so I did not have to listen to her. Im happy she is doing well, but my life sucks, so I have right to hate.

I did not hear from Peter.

Yes. I'm not joking. He did not call, texted or emailed...no pigeon stopped by my window with a little letter. How messed up is that?! Five!, five years of relationship..love, plans,hopes etc. and I just left one morning without the word and that's it. I think he knew that I saw them, but still...What happened to – I'm sorry...Can I explain?...or - It wasn't me???

Renee and his girlfriend of three months, Lila ,came on the time. Of course. Renne is control freak and since we were little he was folding his clothes by colors and everything had its place..every toy, car or ball....

“You look like a mess Misha,” He said as we sat by the table. You have no idea. I taught to myself.

“She is not eating properly..” My mom said as she was putting the bowl of the salad on the table. Renee fixed the forks and the knives.

“It looks so good Helena.” I did not like Lila's voice. She looked and sounded like older Barbie doll. Her's and my mom's conversation about food lasted until desert time. I was just taking first bite of my chocolate cake, when my brothrer asked for attention. From who? Last time I checked he and his girlfriend were center of the world.

“Mom.".He looked at my mom, who was chewing on cake with her eyes wide open. “Misha.” He looked at me, who probably looked bored to death.

“Lila and I are expecting.”

“Expecting what?” My mom swallowed bite of the cake and she looked confused.

“You will be a grandmother..” He said with tears in his eyes. The sweet chocolate cake turned bitter on my tounge. That was that moment when you want to cry and laugh in the same time, cause it hurts and feels great at the same time. I stood up and hugged them. Can they tell? I felt like my feelings were on display..

“Congratulations.”

“Let's open some champagne..” My mom took the bottle from the fridge. 

"I'll get some glasses." I said and stood up. It seemed like the best idea to walk to cabinet for flutes so I can turn my back to them and took some deep breaths.  I did not pay attention to the Lila's Barbie voice talking  about how she can not drink any alcohol...I poured everybody half of the glass and after the toast I finished the rest by myself - in my room - no judgment. I needed it.