Sincerely Emmy

Note 02

Dear Emmy,

I can't think.

-R

。。。

"Let's take a walk. Get out of the house for a while. It could be nice." Dakota says as I stare out the window. "You wanna? We could come back and drink hot chocolate while watching movies." She continues.

"That could be... nice." I reply back.

I pick at the loose threads on my jeans, captivating me, being the only thing distracting me from the outside world. When I'm done with that, I start playing with the hair bands around my wrist, it's been a habit of mine since I was younger.

I glance out of the window, to see Nolan and Jackson sitting at the base of the tree. I expected them to be out there, but still something about it made me happy.

"You think they've been out there a lot lately, hey?" Dakota says, as if she was reading my thoughts.

"Yeah" I reply. "It's nice to see Jackson and Nolan getting along." I say with a slight smile.

"Yeah, as long as they aren't demising some master plan to murder us in their sleep I think that's pretty fine." Dakota sends a playful punch to my arm.

The leaves bustle outside and branches crack at the window sill, creating an inconsistent pattern of taps and bustling. I'm still staring out the window, watching Jackson and Nolan smile and laugh.

I wonder what they were talking about.

"Hey cheeseball, ya coming or what?" Dakota is leaning against the door to the hallway, already dressed with a fall jacket and hat. Had I been staring that long?

"Oh. Yeah. I just need to grab my hoodie." When I open the drawer that holds my sweaters, I smile because my favourite hoodie is in fact there.

It was from a family vacation a few years back, one when we went to the mountains. The hoodie was a faded lilac colour, with the word "Jasper" embroidered onto the front.

I throw the hoodie on over my current shirt and walk into the hallway to see Dakota.

"Let's go." She says nodding her head to the right. I nod back in her direction following her until we hit the cold weather of outside.

There's wispy dandelions. I bend down to pick one and hold it in my hand. It's just so small and delicate. I stare at it, twirling it in my hand and wondering why it was still alive.

It was freezing. And the flower had to be the only one left at this time of year.

I found that quite sad.

"Making a wish?" Dakota asks.

I brush my hands on and stand to face her. "Nope, just looking."

It was only August, but yet the frigid weathers found their way here. Neither Dakota or I speak a word, but walk in silence as the leaves fall before us. It's a blur of colours raining down and the silence continues until one of us speaks a word.

"I'm sorry." Dakota says "You know, for your sister."

There it was. There was the inevitable pity from everybody who says they understand but in fact they don't because they don't know. I'm sorry. Yeah, the hell you are. I kick a rock in the pathway sending it flying with a tap of my boot. I watch it sail until it stops and skitters on the road ahead of me.

And then I kick another.

。。。

-A/N; Sorry for being gone :)