The Upside of Heartbreak

Chapter Two

It was after 2 pm when I got a phone call from a manager in the contact centre, who said she urgently needs me to come to the level 2 bathrooms. I immediately assume that this is going to be something bad, no one ever asks HR to come to a bathroom when it's good news. I swing around in my chair and say to Joanna and Sophie "Karen called and said she needs me to come down to the level 2 bathrooms".

"That can't be good. My money is on another blocked toilet,' jokes Sophie starting to laugh.

"Half your luck Taylor. You get all the good ones," Jo joins in the banter, laughing and shaking her head.

"Yeah, lucky me," I roll my eyes as I grab my notebook and security card and head towards the elevator.

When I get to level 2, I'm greeted at the elevator by Karen who ushers me to follow her to the bathroom.

"This is probably the worst incident we've ever had," Karen says as she pushes the bathroom open.

"Seriously, oh my god. Jesus Christ Karen, someone actually did this?" I say as I step into the bathroom. I put a hand over my mouth and trying not the gag. There is shit smeared across the mirror and on the basin and taps. Yes, I said shit and fuck me, it was disgusting.

"When was this reported?" I gather myself together and try to keep a straight face.

"About 15 minutes ago. I've got a sign on the printer for the door and I've told the ladies on this floor that they will have to go to level three or four if they need to use the bathroom".

I walk into each stall to check to see if any other faeces had been flung around the place. Thankfully and I mean thankfully there isn't.

"Ok, get the notice up and I'll call maintenance to come and get this cleaned up. Let's make sure we keep this between us and we will have to speak to everyone about bathroom manners" I say to Karen who is nodding.

We leave the bathroom and I walk back to my desk, thinking of the bathroom incident. First, Oh my god. Secondly, what the fuck is wrong with people. Thirdly, someone would have had to wait to the bathroom is empty then carry out the disgusting deed then calmly walk out of the bathroom as if nothing ever happened. Four, some dirty bitch is sitting at their desk with hands reeking of shit. This is by far the most disgusting matter I've had to deal with. I get back to my desk about 20 minutes later just as just Sophie is finished her call, "So what was the big emergency?".

"Oh my god. It was disgusting. Someone smeared shit across the mirror and basin. Honestly, it's fucken gross" I say shaking my head.

"That is so gross. Some people are so dirty. So who is the shit smearer?" replies Joanne who is chewing through a sandwich she has now pushed to one side. Clearly, her appetite has disappeared after hearing the news

"Someone in the call centre clearly. I'm pretty sure they haven't started a shit smearing posse down there" I reply.

Sophie makes a fist and talks into it like a microphone "Poop-smearer on 2. Can the poop-smearer on level 2 please report to HR. We need to smell your hands".

"I don't know what's worse, a poop-smearer walking amongst us or what it's going to take to make sure this doesn't happen a second time," I say smiling.

"I'm never using the bathroom on level 2 again," Joanne says laughing.

All three of us are in fits of laughter over the incident. It's hard not to be, I mean what normally socialised adult would commit such a disgusting act. I pick up the phone and call maintenance and tell them about the incident on level 2.

"Thanks, John and sorry again. Just make sure you wear gloves" I say before putting down the phone.

"As if he wouldn't wear gloves Taylor," Sophia says still laughing.