iridescent ↠ grayson dolan ✓

↠ t w o

{ c h a p t e r t w o }
lauren's pov ;

Being stuck in the same house for all of eternity gave Lauren a lot of time to think.

She'd curl up by her window ledge and bask in the little sunlight that managed to penetrate her glass windows. If her mother wasn't home, she'd open the window just a crack so that the breeze brushed against her skin. The simple action caused her heart to hammer in her chest, for opening the window even an inch was a practically risking her entire life.

That day, she thought of the boy that seemed to have such an effect on her. He didn't say a word, and he was probably deathly afraid of her, but her mind kept replaying the small, weak and somewhat broken smile he shot her as she was leaving. Perhaps she'd just imagined it, but he was stuck in her memory nonetheless.

Outside her window stood long rows of golden sunflowers. She lived a fair distance away from the chaotic streets of Arizona. Her mother decided that living a little far out was less riskier than having her daughter in the hustle and bustle of the city. Lauren couldn't understand why, but perhaps her mother thought she might be tempted to go outside.

She was still tempted regardless.

The only thing that gave her peace of mind were her visits to Kate and her doctor. The car journey was often long but never tiresome. She had to resist the urge to press her face against the window in absolute fascination.

Lauren wasn't sure how to feel about going to a therapist. A part of her found comfort in talking to a person outside of her crazy life. On the flip side, she felt like going for therapy made her more of a freak than she already was.

But there she sat, in her comfy leather chair again, with a cup of tea that Kate had been kind enough to fetch her. Kate said she didn't look like much of a coffee person, and she was right.

"So, Lauren. Last week's session was very productive, no? The test you did with the flash cards, and the quiz you did thereafter gave me an idea of where you're standing at socially, and how you would deal with a situation such as, for example, bumping into a random stranger."

Lauren nodded. She still hadn't told Kate about her little predicament that she got herself into. Frankly, she was more than a little embarrassed.

"I've also received some interesting news from one of our client's mother. It seems like you ran into someone last week?" Kate asked, pushing her spectacles up the bridge of her nose. "Why didn't you tell me about that?"

Heat rose to Lauren's cheeks. "I didn't think it was important."

"Lauren, the way you handled that situation was very impressive for someone who hasn't- how do I put this- socialized in a while. Your mother mentioned something about your anxiety problems?"

Of course her mother mentioned her anxiety, she should've known. "I'm better now." Lauren said. "I thought I'd get a little timid, yeah, but I was fine the other day. I haven't gotten a panic attack in a while."

Kate scribbled something on her clipboard, and it her lip for a moment as if she was considering something. "Usually, I'd advise against this..." she trailed off.

"Advise against what?"

"I've discussed with the nurses prior to this, but I really do think you are ready to meet someone of your age, in this building."

"But why here?" Lauren asked.

"Because the people here are different. They have problems and they've gone through experiences much like yours. I feel like it would be easier to start with people here so that you can relate with them, maybe it'd be easier to talk to them."

She rolled her eyes. "The boy I ran into didn't seem to think that."

"Ah, Grayson Dolan. Yes, I spoke with his mother. She also believes him talking to someone, and having a friend would be very substantial to his recovery process. There will be certain precautions taken, of course, but we'll discuss that later. How about tomorrow?"

Lauren managed a short nod. She didn't know how to feel or what to expect.

* * *

The next day came around awfully quickly and Lauren had a strange sort of twisting feeling in her gut. She followed each raindrop that bolted down the window, as if they were in a race and she had to determine the winner. It calmed her down focusing on small details like that.

She didn't understand why Kate would want her to be friends with a boy who she gave a panic attack to. It simply didn't make sense. Surely there must've been at least one other candidate in the building that was better than Grayson.

Her mind couldn't wrap around the fact that she had to make conversation with a stranger. She didn't know anything about him. What on earth was she supposed to talk about? She distracted herself by fidgeting with her loose curls.

Kate's office seemed colder than usual that day. As soon as Lauren stepped in Kate gave her a long talk about everything that was to happen. It was very well co ordinated,  sort of like a strict itinerary that made Lauren's insides swirl. There would be a nurse outside the room at all times. If Grayson showed any signs of discomfort, uneven breathing and so forth, Lauren was to attempt to use several practiced coping mechanisms to comfort him and interrupt the adrenalin from rushing to his brain. That method didn't always work, so if it didn't, she was to call the nurse immediately.

All the information made Lauren feel sick to her stomach. She didn't want to do it anymore. But she was already at the door, and found herself being appealed to knock. She did so, and opened the door just wide enough so she could fit in. She squeezed through the door and smiled at him.

He made an effort to smile back, but it came out as a wince, as though the simple act of smiling was so hard that it physically caused him pain. There was a creamy paged book, presumably a journal, that lay closed on his lap. A pen was clipped to the spine of it and a small stem of lavender jutted out as a bookmark.

"Hi," she said as brightly as she could. "I'm Lauren."

"Grayson." He said softly, barely making eye contact. He didn't attempt to smile again. He had the same blank, emotionless expression he had when Lauren first saw him.

Lauren made her way to the bed that was opposite his. It was still empty, with the sheets still crisp, just as it had been the week before. She sat in the middle of the bed with her legs crossed.

"I'm sorry for barging in the other day." She said quietly. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"It's okay. I get like that sometimes, it's not your fault."

The awkwardness in the air was suffocating. Just as she looked up at him to say something, she noticed he was gripping his legs so hard that his knuckles turned white, just what happened a week ago.

She took a deep breath, determined to say something. "I know this isn't the ideal situation for either of us. And to be completely honest I'm not used to being around other people. But this hour that we have together, five times a week, is going to be absolute hell if we just sit here with this thickness hanging in the air. We've just gotta figure out a way to make this work."

He nodded in agreement, but didn't say anything. Lauren assumed he wanted her to continue.

"Look, I don't care if you wanna talk about how irritated you're feeling or how crappy your day was. If you want to watch a movie or if you're comfortable in silence. I don't care what it is that you like or don't like. Whatever you wanna do, we'll do it together."

He gave her a small, thankful smile that made her heart skip a beat. "Together it is, then."

* * *