iridescent ↠ grayson dolan ✓

↠ f o u r

{ c h a p t e r  f o u r }
lauren's pov ;

Grayson's laugh was a twinkly, magical sort of laugh that could make even the biggest melancholic break into a grin. Lauren was amazed how just a laugh or a smile from him could completely change her mood. Over the past month, she realized how much she really liked having him as a friend. At first, it was just pleasant visits and nothing else, but it developed into so much more.

They became each other's safe haven from their own chaotic worlds.

That's why she needed him for her plan. Grayson was the only one who understood her, and she was sure of it once she read his journal. She felt terribly guilty about reading it, but the words seemed to dawn on her and jolt her to a realization.

She had to go.

And she had to go with Grayson.

When Lauren explained her plan, Grayson thought she was joking. He laughed about it, then resumed shuffling the deck of cards, as if she had never brought up the subject in the first place. She wished he didn't do that.

"Gray, I'm being serious."

His head jerked up and he froze for just a second. Then he started another game of go fish, played his turn, but refused to look at her in the eyes. Lauren could easily read his obvious discomfort strewn across his face.

She knew he would react like this, but she continued to press him. What he wrote in his journal- that's what he wanted. He just refused to admit it. And Lauren was determined to make him realize that. She didn't want him to miss out on everything life had to offer. They both had to go.

She placed her index finger below his chin and lifted his head up. He noticeably stiffened, especially when he finally met her eyes.

"Talk to me." She said softly.

"Lauren, we can't."

Grayson's eyes were clouded with an emotion that Lauren couldn't place her finger on. He pulled his bottom lip between his pearly white teeth, as though he was refraining from saying something.

"Why not?" Lauren persisted. "It doesn't have to be today. We can plan it; it can work."

"I-I don't know about this."

Lauren put her hand on his. "Listen, I know you're scared. I am too. But I know that you also want to get out of this place. We can do it. Together."

"You're sick, Lauren." He said in almost a whimper. "You can't risk your life like that. And I- I can't. You haven't seen me when I'm in public. I don't just have anxiety, Lauren. It's this inexplicable feeling that I can't associate a mental disorder to. Normal people with anxiety, they can live a normal life and not be paralyzed by it. Mine is different. I mean, if it wasn't that bad, why else would I be here?"

"Hey." She said gently, scooting closer to him. "It took us some time to get used to each other, yeah? But you're fine now with me. And I promise, it'll be like that the entire time. I'll by your side. As for me, my treatment's working. I don't die when I stick my hand out the window, do I?" She sounded as though she was trying to convince herself.

It was silent for a while. The kind of silence that made her stomach twist with hopeless anticipation. She bore her eyes into him, silently begging him to say yes. It was all she could think about recently. Grayson looked at her for a split second, and an unreadable emotion flickered across his face.