Life Of Dreams

Chapter 4

I awoke with a start, and for a moment I lay motionless as I gradually became attuned to the hospital noises around me.  My sleep had been dreamless, or at least couldn’t remember anything, and I felt rested yet disassociated with my surroundings.  Somewhere around the edges of my mind I could feel that something wasn’t right.  Trent!  My normal reaction to whispering his name in the morning was replaced by a hollow empty feeling.  He doesn’t know I’m in the hospital, he thinks I deserted him.

The rest of the morning I endured all of the prodding, testing and questions the staff threw at me, hoping that if I followed everything they wanted me to do, they would let me out sooner.  Dr. Kragar hadn’t even bothered coming in yet, I was sore, bored and restless.

“Hey there.  I hope I haven’t come at a bad time.” 

I had been drawn up in a fetal position with my back to the door, picking at the thin blanket that covered me.  I gingerly turned my head and saw Alison standing in the doorway with my small carry-on suitcase in her hand.  I had forgotten she was coming.

I gave a weary smile and scooted my butt over to the other side so I could lie facing the door.  No small feat with the light cast that seemed to weigh a ton whenever it was moved.

“No, this is as good as it gets.  They’re done poking me for the moment and I hear lunch coming, but it’s down the hall a bit.”  Alison walked over to the bed and held the case up.  “That second locker appears to be mine, so you can just throw that in there.  It’s so good to see someone who isn’t wearing white for a change.”

Alison went over to the locker and deposited my stuff.  She then pulled over a chair and we talked about my accident, how things were going at work and then there was a lull.  Alison was the first to interject.

“Well, I guess I’d better get back to work, and it looks like your lunch is finally here.”  She got up and put her hand on my shoulder.  “Gary says to take your time.  Your main project has been postponed …”  she shook her head as I started to protest.  “Not because of you.  The data has been delayed for about another week and a half, so that should give you ample time to get back on your feet.”  The last was said brightly and with a big smile.

I smiled back and thanked her for coming.

As Alison was heading out the door, she stopped and looked back to me.  “Oh, I almost forgot.  The office was trying to figure out what to get you to help out.  Gladys and I had a real nice talk last night and we came up with a ‘grand surprise’.  And we’re not going to tell you what it is.  You’ll find out when you get home.”  And with that she turned and left, squeezing past the volunteer coming in with my lunch. 

I hated surprises.  A card would have been nice.  A bouquet of flowers would have been nice.  A surprise is usually not quite what it’s cracked up to be.  I hoped it wouldn’t be  some cane in the shape of a phallic symbol.  No, I don’t think the office would have given the task of picking out a gift to Ralph; they know his tastes from prior experiences.

I smiled at the volunteer as she pulled the table over so I could eat my lunch.  I thanked her then turned on the TV and started flipping channels.  There wasn’t much on except for a few talk shows and the remnants of what used to be the morning staples: soap operas.  I felt it was a shame for that genre of story telling to be all but gone.  And along with the stories, all of the actors who used to be part of everyone’s family.  Although I never particularly liked soap operas, my mother had relished them and told me about all of the intricate twists and turns that happened throughout the week.  

That reminded me of a number of years ago before I really noticed that Mom was having a problem with what was real and what wasn’t.  We were sitting in her back sun room and she started talking about a Tom as though he were someone I should know.  She insisted he was my cousin and described all of the problems he was having.  It took me a while to realize he was on her soap opera, and when it finally dawned on Mom, she was embarrassed.  We both just laughed it off, but after that I became more aware of little things that just didn’t match with what really was happening. 

I turned the TV off and managed to turn back over and face the window.  I couldn’t see much from this angle but that was all right, there wasn’t much to see anyway.  I was determined to stop thinking of Trent and my mother.  And of course as soon as I made that decision, I couldn’t stop thinking about either one of them.

This was going to be one lousy day.