Reason

Chapter 5

A/N: TRIGGER WARNING, MENTION OF SUICIDE 

As I get to a good part, my private landline rings. "What? Who'd be calling this late at night?" I mutter, groping for the phone. I check the caller id, and it shows up as Anthony's house number. "Hey A, what's up? Do you have any idea what time it is?" I mumble into the phone.

"I c-c-can't d-do this anymore, M-Megan ! I c-can't h-handle it. It's too h-hard, too h-hurtful," he confesses. He's stuttering badly, that happens when he's agitated. It sounds like he's pacing around his room. "Anthony, what are you talking about?" I whisper, worried now.

"I d-didn't k-know who else to c-call. It's bad tonight, Megan. R-r-really bad."  It sounds like he's crying now. "My o-old man has a g-gun in the c-cabinet, and it's l-loaded. He's o-out cold. He wouldn't even h-hear. I could f-find it, and pull the t-trigger. One s-shot, and it would all be o-over," he sobs, full out crying now, and my blood freezes in my veins. No, no, no. This can't happen.

"Anthony, think what you're saying ! You're talking about committing suicide!" I cry. "N-no ," he whispers, "I'm talking about an e-es-escape. I called you to say g-g-goodbye, Megan," His voice is so calm now, terribly calm. I could call nine one one. Hell, I should, this is pretty much an imminent threat, but... what if I can talk him out of it? He'd hate being hospitalized, it would only make him worse. But I can't lose him...

"Anthony , DON'T. Don't make this decision late at night, running on fumes. Sleep on it. Decide tomorrow," I beg. Silence on the other end of the line. "PROMISE ME. You owe me that, " I say, with as much force as I can muster, trying to stop my own voice from breaking.

" I .... I promise. I ... Well, g-goodnight. " he whispers, and the line clicks. I hang up my own end and flop back, too scared to sleep. I HAVE to try and save Anthony. Lying miserably in bed, I bolt upright as an idea comes to mind. Vaulting out of bed, I get to work.

Finally, at about two a.m , I've perfected operation 'Saving Anthony', as I've titled  it. My plan? At school tomorrow, I'd give him my list and ask if he'd move in with us, and if and when he agreed, I'd keep a much, much closer watch on him. How did I not notice how bad off he was before last night? I feel sick at the very thought that I could have lost him because I was too focused on myself. Before I do anything else, I look over my list. The first ten reasons are as follows :

Why Anthony Should Live

1. School would be so boring without you

2. Everyone (IE, me, my dad, Stephanie, and Cynthia, Darien, and Dante) would miss you

3. Three words ; No. More. Pizza. TRAGIC!

4. Chem would be awful

5. You'd be letting your demons win

6. Graduation!

7. College!

8. You could find your ONE

9. Hershey's chocolate ( yum! )

10. Who ELSE would be my best friend?

Although those first few are stupid,  it goes on, for two straight pages. When I finally finish, the sky is getting lighter. I look at my clock and see that it's already five fifty-one. Damn! No time to sleep, and I stayed up all night. Well, if it saves Anthony, then it's worth it.

I stand and stretch. Yowch! My muscles have fallen asleep. When they wake up again, I toddle over to my closet, pulling out simple blue jeans and a white, long sleeve shirt, as well as my brown snow boots

Out of my dresser, I grab a black beret, and from my jewel chest, my music note necklace. When I've gotten dressed, I hurry downstairs. My father works from home as an as-yet-undiscovered novelist, and I can hear him click-clacking away on his computer.

Whenever he gets a serious brainstorm, he skips everything pretty much, even meals and sleep. I've tried breaking him of it, but old habits die hard. Suffice to say, I'm eating alone today. Unable to sit idle any longer, I say goodbye to dad and leave the house early.