The Grape Eater

Chapter 23: Over Again

MY FRIEND DREW THIS ANIME VERSION OF ESTELLE. IT'S AMAZING!!

Do you know when your sealed eyes thrive for obscurity? When you are exposed to a overwhelmingly bright light that's constantly hovering above you, powerful and white, but then there are obstacles- in this case, it was shaking tree leaves- which temporarily block it out. So there is a play of light and shade and despite the fact that your eyes are closed, it is not absolute darkness.

Surrounded by the soft spring breeze and my back leaned against the oak tree in the abandoned field behind the town hall, the opened black book rested on my chest; my eyes with their lids covered, sought darkness.

The words in the petite book burned against my heart and it searched for answers. Answers as to why I wrote it and what made me to. Or perhaps that was nothing but a distraction to keep the horrible thoughts of the previous night at bay. The grimness of every word and every touch gnawed at my mind.

I couldn't completely blame Olly so I partially put it on his intoxication. But I knew that was just because my head wouldn't wrap around the idea that he could act that way.

I concentrated on the poem again, feeling my thoughts slip away from under my control. The words rotated, being scrutinized and examined in my brain. You smuggled your charms into my heart. And I already felt the load of it inside, knowing who did the audacious crime.

But I was too headstrong to accept it.

His image flashed in my brain, only to make me writhe in the pain and disappointment.

My eyes flied open.

I sat up and placed the book on my lap, gazing at the words scribbled on it and I bled a little inside. Not feeling anything had been a choice all along. But now things weren't the same and I feared if I could ever return to my old self. The ice can't be uncracked.

Yes, it can. My other self spat. It can. Only if you freeze yourself more. More than before.

But I didn't want to. I wanted to keep feeling how Niall made me. Tired I was living a dull life. But what he said to his friends about me...that was inexcusable.

I slapped the book close and rose on my feet. It was one of those days when the sky was milky white and birds forgot to chirp. It was time I got to work.

When I got there, Mrs. Patmore was standing beside the counter, tapping her foot, arms crossed over her puffed chest.

"You are late." Her words fell sharp in my ears. It was just fifteen minutes later than my usual time of arrival.

Before my mouth could open for an apology, she asked, "And were you lost last night?" A stone clogged my throat. "Niall just showed up around ten thirty at my house asking if I had seen ya. So I told him you went home but he said he didn't find you there. So what's the deal, heh?"

"It's.. It's.." I stuttered, at a loss for words. Of course he was looking for me. "I actually went to a...for some uh work. So I got home late."

"Work, eh?" She raised her uneven brows, her voice flat and hinting at a little doubt.

"Yes."

"So you and Niall. You two get on really well, no?"

I shrugged. "I guess."