Negan awoke the next morning to the feel of Sky's fingers dancing along the bare skin of his chest. It was a feeling he loved, something he had grown very used to since being with her. He sighed heavily at the thought of what the day was going to bring him, and it didn't go unnoticed.
"Everything okay Babe?" she whispered as her fingers continued to trace their little patterns on his skin.
"Daryl escaped last night" he told her. "Taking with him half of the leverage I had over Rick".
"What are you going to do about it?"
"Honestly… I don't know. Part of me wants to drive right over to Alexandria and flaunt my dominance, kill a few more people, you know make sure I get my point across" he said with a slight hint of anger in his voice.
"And the other part?" she probed.
"The other part wants to just leave it be. I'm tired Sky. I'm tired of always being the bad guy. Everything I do, I do to keep these people safe. To keep you safe. But in doing that there will always be a big old target on my back".
"What happens if you just let him go back to his group?"
"Nothing good. I feel a war coming Sky, and I am afraid of what that means for us, for our little family" he admitted.
"Negan… the big bad wolf… afraid?" Sky somewhat giggled at the idea. Negan was the most fearless man she ever knew.
"The only thing in this world that scares me is the thought of losing the people I love. I don't know if I can go through that again. I barely came back last time, after Lucille. And you were the reason I came back. You brought me back. You helped me to see the man I was, the man I could be. And I am trying so hard to be that man, but being the leader, being in charge and controlling all these groups, it's a dangerous path".
"No matter what happens, I will be by your side through anything" Sky reassured him. "You don't have to worry about me, I can protect myself".
"Protecting you is my job" he smiled proudly.
"So do what you think is right"
"I don't know what is right here Sky… tell me. Tell me what I should do" he almost pleaded. The pressure of having to make the hard calls day in and day out was clearly wearing him down. He was tired of all the death, tired of keeping up a front all the time, not being able to be himself unless he was with Sky. When he had nothing to live for, this kind of life was easy. But now he had so much to lose, he was second guessing his role in this new world. He had enjoyed being the king, but now this crown grew heavier and heavier upon his head, and he felt as though he was struggling beneath its weight.
"If you go to Alexandria, are you going to kill someone to flaunt your power?" she asked seriously.
"Probably" he grimaced.
"Is that what you want? Do you want to kill?"
"No" he replied straight away. "I mean, I will kill if I have to, if I need to. But I'm tired of killing just to show these fuckers who's in charge, but it is the only way I know how to keep them in line".
"Then leave it" she told him. "Don't go to Alexandria. Let Daryl find his way back. Who knows, if you don't retaliate to his escape, then they might just accept that as a sign that you can work with them without killing their people. They might see you as merciful".
"You're a smart woman Sky" he smiled as he kissed her forehead.
"I have my moments" she grinned in response.
"You know, sometimes I wish we could just run away from all this. Go back to the way things were. Get ourselves a nice house with a white picket fence and raise our babies together. We could be a proper family, without the threat of death constantly looming over our heads" Negan said optimistically.
