butterflies.

LEAD.

鉛 / PART TWELVE

the seven boys all crowd the hospital corridor, having being refused entry to yoongi's hospital room. the doctor cites his patient's mental health and all that. bullshit, namjoon thinks. yoongi's so drugged up that he wouldn't even realize they were there.

"doctor?" namjoon steps forwards hurriedly as the doctor closes yoongi's hospital room door behind him. "is okay? what happened? will he be alright?"

the doctor holds up one hand to ward off namjoon's questions. he takes out a clipboard and flicks through the stack of paper there.

"min yoongi is lucky that you got him here before he lost too much blood," the doctor says matter-of-factly. he's found that's the best way to deal with relations of patients of these sorts. "we've stitched up his wounds and given him a blood transfusion. he'll recover with no problems, though there may be scars left behind."

the doctor gives them all a level gaze. "but what is more important is afterwards."

"a-afterwards?" namjoon stumbles. seokjin takes him by the shoulders, steading him, and namjoon leans into him gratefully.

"mr. min seems to have a history of cutting. this wasn't the first time and it does not look like it will be the last unless proper measures are taken."

"what do you suggest doctor," seokjin says because namjoon is incapable of asking. he may be the leader, but he is still young.

the doctor adjusts his glasses. "therapy. time off. he's an idol right?"

"preparing to be one," namjoon says hollowly.

"the same thing," the doctor says. "the stress must be unimaginable. i'm sure he's not the first trainee to have such thoughts, though his are rather extreme. i cannot fathom where the idea of carving a butterfly into his chest came from."

jimin makes a choking sound that causes everyone to turn to look at him. namjoon notices his complexion, pale as a sheet, and the way he has to put one hand to the wall to steady himself.

"you knew?" Seokjin whispers, shock evident in his tone.

jimin trembles, "i-"

"young man," the doctor says in a serious tone, turning his lamp like gaze onto jimin. "if you knew that yoongi was cutting then you should have not kept it to yourself. this is a life or death matter."

"i-" jimin chokes. "i didn't mean for this to happen. he made me promise not to tell. he said he'd stop it himself and- and i thought if I told him to draw butterflies instead..."

"butterflies?" the doctor squints. "i fail to see how-"

"it's a trend going online right now," a female voice cuts through. a nurse passing by. she stops and affixes jimin with a pitying look. "they say that if you feel an urge to cut you should draw a butterfly where you want to cut instead and wish the pain away. it's a metaphorical thing and whilst it is a good idea, it seems this patient took it a bit too far."

"i see," the doctor says darkly. "it was a noble idea, but i guess min yoongi's psychological problems run deeper than i imagined. he will have to be monitored carefully." the doctor bows to them and walks away, muttering under his breath.

seokjin turns to jimin, eyes wide, looking betrayed almost. "you knew about this and you didn't tell us?"

hoseok slides between the two of them. "hyung," he says warningly. "jimin meant well."

"but!" seokjin snaps. one of his charges is lying in a hospital bed with bandages around his external wounds, but not his internal ones. seokjin's meant to be the one to watch over the team, to see when they are struggling with problems and to be there for them. only he wasn't. he's failed yoongi. it's himself he's angry at, not jimin, but he can't help but use the younger as a conduct.

a hand takes him by the wrist. seokjin spins round to see namjoon's distraught expression. immediately his anger flees and his heart thuds.

"i'm meant to be the leader. i should have seen this," he says forlornly.

seokjin's heart aches and he envelopes namjoon in a big hug. namjoon may be leader but he is three years younger than he is and this is no burden he should bear.

"shh," Seokjin soothes, rubbing a hand up and down the others back. "we all should have seen this."

jimin slides down the wall and curls in on himself. hoseok squats and places a comforting hand on the back of his neck as jimin hides his hands in his knees and feels the tears burn hotly behind his lids. his body shakes as he tries to suppress them. hoseok doesn't cry, but he doesn't smile and that is enough to tell them that he too is shell shocked. jungkook and taehyung cling to each other's sleeves, mute with horror. if namjoon is too young to deal with this shit then throwing this onto jungkook and taehyung is like dropping them from ten story building.

it's a terrible thing for yoongi to want to cut himself; it's an even more terrible thing that no one saw it coming, and that no one knows now knows how to deal with the consequences.

idk how to really incorporate more yoonmin rn im sorry just bare w me