Forbidden Thoughts

But then I Remember...

I blame myself for my susceptibility but then I remember that you're the one who promised me perfection.

I tell myself I should've quelled my credulity but then I remember that you're the one who commenced the affection.

I ask myself if the problem was in my insanity but then I remember that you didn't warn me about strengthening my perception.

***

I hate myself for thinking your love would live for an eternity but then I remember that you made me believe that to my love you had a fixation.

I kill myself for still loving you unconditionally but then I remember that you're the one who didn't make me sign up for all of these painful regulations.

I regret myself on thinking that I was such an inadequacy but then I remember that you're the one who whispered the incantation.

I doubt myself and say,"Was it because of my inanity?" but then I remember that you're the one who treated our love like a process of incineration.

***

I just want to say sorry for loving you all so impulsively, but you were such a good actor! I salute your improvisation.

I just wanted to say sorry for the incapacity, but damn, you were such a fake incarnation.

I just wanted to say that I blamed, told, asked, hated, killed, regretted, and doubted myself but then I remember that I'm sad and lonely, while you are happy with someone else.

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First of all, This poem is based on an imaginary love story that I didn't personally experience (thanks god), it's just that my heart is stacked with indecisive and complicated feelings that I honestly don't understand and I wanted to share them with you.

Second, sorry if i put an exaggerated amount of big words in the poem but strong feelings must be expressed using strong words.

Third, thanks for checking out my first poetry collection.

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!