Flying on Broken Wings.

The Guys.

Louis.

I just finished video chatting with my sisters; they have grown so much, makes me feel really old. My Mum’s doing okay but she’s worried about me, they all are. I’m usually not the type to run from a fight but it hurts too much, seeing all the rude comments, and I know now everybody’s going crazy because I came out of hiding yesterday and I was with Maddison. Soon enough, the guys will be trying to contact me but I don’t think I’m ready to talk them yet, I’m still in the mood to be by myself, I know Maddy’s here but she doesn’t bother me, I actually care for her company, I don’t know. It’s like a part of me feels like she’s what’s keeping me sane. I was in the woods that day, trying to find the bayou. I was just gonna walk into the water and never come back. I was thinking that I don’t know what I was thinking.  That would have been stupid of me. I’m happy that I did walk through those woods, I wouldn’t have met Maddison. I wouldn’t have stopped. Her shouts smacked me into reality. Eleanor just left me, left me feeling dumb.  Now I’m scared, I will never admit it but I am. I’m scared of losing anyone else. This isn’t the first time something like this happened. I have lost friends, family and girlfriends. I can’t get close to anyone else, which is part of the reason that I took off, away from the guys. I can’t lose them too, but I kind of already have, haven’t i? I mean, I can’t even go nowhere with Harry without someone thinking we’re dating. I’m not like that. What’s wrong with having a guy bestfriend? I don’t see that happening to any of those girls who be taking pictures kissing each other and shit. All they got to say is ‘I’m not gay’ and paparazzi will leave them be. Is it just the way I look or something? I don’t know.

A knock at my door knocked me out of my thoughts.

“Come in.” I called out to Maddy. She came in, her arms wrapped around her torso, it looks like she’s been crying, making me frown. I stood up, standing next to her; she wrapped her arms around my bare chest. I felt wet hot tears on my chest, she’s crying. I rubbed her back soothingly; she let out a sob then pulled away.

“I’m sorry” she choked out, looking down. I took her head in my hands and wiped her tears.

“It’s okay. What’s wrong?” I asked her, gently.

“Nothing I was thinking about my mom and…” she trailed off; I sighed and pulled her into another hug.

“It’s okay, you’re okay.” I repeated. She pulled away again and wiped her face, looking up at me.

“Can I stay in here with you tonight?” She asked, a little unsteady.

“Sure, I’m just going to go get something to drink.” I said, she nodded and headed for the bed. I walked downstairs to the kitchen and got a glass of water.

I hate it when girls cry; it breaks me to see them like that. They should be happy, smiling most of the time, but I guess that’s just in fairytales, no one lives like that. People might think so and others may act like it but it’s all a stereotype. Celebrities don’t live celebrity lives at home or when they are all alone thinking. Take my for example. I’m a fucking wreck.

I sipped my cup but nothing came out, I drunk all the water. I put my cup in the sink and went upstairs; the light is off, I turned it on and saw Maddy, she’s asleep, curled up in a ball. I turned the light back on and laid next to her, making her shuffle in her sleep, she came closer to me, her head rested on my arm, her cold hands pressed lazily into my side. I pulled the covers over us and closed my eyes.

****

I woke up to a small crashing sound, my eyes flew open. I looked over to see that Maddy is still asleep. I moved slowly, careful not to wake her and got up, opening the door and shutting it quietly. I heard whispering, I leaned in to here closer.

“How do we even know this is the place…we could just be in some random persons house, maybe even a fans house. We do not want that.” One of the voices said, then the living room light came on.

“Look, there’s Kevin.” A familiar voice said, loudly.

“Niall. Shut up.” Another voice warned. Niall? I went downstairs, quietly, seeing my four bestfriends.

“How the hell did you guys find me?” I spoke up, arms folded across my chest.

“We found ya, that’s all that matters.” Niall said.

“Yeah, what the hell is your problem, leaving like that?” Zayn said, folding his arms across his chest.

“Do you know how worried we were when you left us?” Liam said.

“Why’d you leave? You could have talked to us.” Harry spoke, lastly.

“Maybe I wanted to be alone.” I said.

“That’s not an option, ever since that day that you’ve agreed to be in a group with us you’ve agreed that, you’re our brother. We aren’t going to let you go that easily. It’s already been too long. Way to long. ”

“Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero, we don’t need powers to find you. It just makes sense Lou.” Harry said, making me sigh.

“Are you going to come home with us or not?” Harry asked.

“I can’t just leave…”

“Yeah you can.” I heard a small voice say. Maddison. I turned around to face her; her eyes went around all the guys then on me. I want to go with the guys but I cant leave her.

Maddison.

“Are you coming come with us or not?” One of the guys asked Louis.

“I can’t just leave…” Louis tailed off. I’m not gonna let him stay because of me. I built up the courage to speak as I walked down the steps.

“Yeah, you can.” I said.

“Maddy-“he started.

“No.” I cut him off and pulled him into the kitchen.

“I can’t just leave you here.” He said, his hand still in mine. He held it like I was being ripped away from him. It’s only been a week, he should be happy to leave me. I’m just a lightweight.

“I’ll figure something out, but I’m not going to hold you back” I said.

“I’ll lose you. We just found each other.” He said, more to himself than to me. I sighed, there’s this feeling in the pit of my stomach, yelling at me for letting him go. He helped me, there isn’t people that do that every day. I’ll just have to go back to the cold sleepless nights, next time; there won’t be anyone to save me.

“I know what you’re thinking. You’re not going back into the streets, I won’t let you. You’ll stay here, you’ll be safe.” He said.

“Why are you doing this? Why do you care so much? I’m nothing to you. Just a lightweight.”  My mind spoke.

“It’s been a week but I feel close to you, like we’ve known each other for a while. We’re…friends. I'm not gonna let you go that easily.” He said, smiling a bit. I didn’t smile though. He’s still going to be gone. I wrapped my arms around him, closing my eyes. He pulled away and looked at me.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Nothing.” I said, and forced myself to smile. I pulled a chair out and sat in the chair while Louis went out to talk to the guys, I found myself falling asleep again before I felt a hand on my back. I opened my eyes to see Louis.

“I’ll be gone when the week ends.” He said, I nodded.

“Can we go back to sleep now?” I asked, he nodded and I got up, going back to bed. In 6 days he will be gone.