The Diary of Kelly Quinn

Chapter 9: Acceptance

*five months later*

Dear Diary,

So Ryan was right, no one blamed me; but for about a month everything was highly sad and depressing. Every morning we sit in silence in mourning over the loss of one of out students. Honestly I think it's a bunch of bull. Things were finally starting to balance back out; things at home were strange again. Mom's bigger and dad's coming home drunk again. I don't know how many times I've woken up and pulled him off her. Last night was the worst of all nights. Dad came home drunk and pinned her against a wall, he was going to cut her open and deliver the baby early. Lucky for both mom I came downstairs just in time; I managed to get him away from mom but not without getting cut. After dad passed out mom wrapped my arm up and started packing suitcases. I looked at her confused for a while, then realized what she was doing. She was getting out of the house until the baby was born. I packed a suitcase and waited for her to decide what she was doing. Currently I'm at school and she's at Poison Ivy's-who took us in due to our situation. I was in english and I was drifting to sleep, my wounded arm propping my head up. Once my arm gave out my head went down, disrupting class. "Miss Quinn! Do you think it's necessary to sleep in class?" she scolded.

"I'm sorry..." I yawned and sat up.

"Leave her alone. She's having a rough time at home right now." Ryan blabbed.

"Would you like to come up to the class and explain Mr. Ivy?" the teacher questioned.

"Actually I would!" Ryan sassed and got up.

"Ryan don't..." Beth and Rena said as he went up to the front.

"Kelly's dad is still abusing her and her mom. Kelly barely get s sleep at night because she's up for hours helping her mom through her pregnancy and keeping her dad away from her mom. Kelly was injured by her dad and now her and her mom are both living with Beth and I until the baby's born." he exposed. My eyes grew wide and I left the classroom.

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*Home*

"Kelly please!" he cried out.

"What the hell was that?!" I screamed.

"I was just trying to help...they deserved to know what's going on.." he persisted.

"No, actually they don't. It's my life and none of their business what's going on in it. It's none of yours either, but here you are...all up in it and exposing it to the world. So thank you...thank you for not letting me have a personal life." I yelled. I was done talking.

"Babe... I-" I didn't let him finish, I just pushed him out of Beth's room and closed the door. I silently sat by the window and stared out into the world, tears falling down my cheeks. The one person I didn't think would hurt me, did. I started thinking about the past and how dad was before we left. All the pain and everything he put us through. Why was life to shitty and fucked up? I heard the door open and mom's reflection in the window. Ryan was behind her but he didn't come in. Mom crossed the room and sat by me feet; I looked up at her.

She wiped the tears from my cheeks, "What's the matter pumpkin?" A tear slid down my cheek as I looked for a way to answer.

"Everything.." I whispered and looked away.

She lifted my chin and turned my face to I was looking at her again, "Awe come on now..."

"I'm serious mom! Dad doesn't want us, you're pregnant and not all there- you can't even see how abusive dad is to us, the one person I thought would never hurt me hurt me today, so what's the point of being happy?" I cried out.

"A wise and beautifully insane man one asked me, 'Why so serious?' and you know who that man was?" she said.

"Who?" I questioned.

"Your father." she said, "So ask yourself next time you're feeling upset or angered about something ask yourself 'Why so serious?'"

I wiped my cheeks, "Dad didn't say that..."

She nodded, "He did. I guess sometimes you have to go a little insane to stay sane." she said and kissed my cheek, "If you come downstairs I can get you some ice-cream."

"No thanks mom, I kinda just want to sit her and think," I smiled. She nodded and left me alone; I turned to look at the world around me. Why so serious Kelly? You can't change the way they think nor what they say about you, so why let it bother you? I looked down at my scarred arms. "Because I care..." I mumbled to myself and leaned my forehead against the cool glass. A few minutes later something broke; I jumped up and went to the bathroom and picked up a razor. I slashed it against my arm again and again. Why so serious? Haha. I laughed to myself as I inflicted pain to my arms, as the blood ran red down my arms and landed in a puddle on the floor below me. I smeared the blood on my face and smiled. "Why so serious?" I asked my reflection and laughed. There was a knock at the door; I spun around with a major grin.

"Kelly? Everything okay?" Ryan asked.

I opened the door, my arms still dripping with blood, "Everything's fine! I've never felt better." His eyes rolled down to my arms and then the bathroom floor.

"Shit Kelly!" he gasped and grabbed my arms, "Beth! Beth!" Beth came running.

"What is it Ry-" she stood there, her eyes wide and full of fear.

"Get the medical bandages and stuff!" he panicked. I pulled away from him but couldn't escape, so I started laughing. "This isn't funny Kelly." he scolded.

"Why so serious Ryan?" I asked.

"Because this is a serious matter!" he yelled. Beth came running back in with long white fabric and rubbing alcohol and peroxide. I was still fighting Ryan when our mothers were standing in the doorway behind Beth.

"What's going on?!" Poison asked.

"She broke." my mom answered. Ryan washed the blood off of my arms and poured the peroxide onto them. My arm bubbled like crazy, then he poured the alcohol on my arms; I screamed out in pain, throwing myself backwards and smashing my head into the tub and knocking myself out.

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When I woke up I was in Ryan's bed and I was covered up. The first thing I noticed was that my arms were wrapped up. I rolled over, my arm landing on Ryan's torso; my eyes widened as I sat up. "We didn't..." I started to panic.

"Relax babe... we didn't do anything." he said, tucking my hair behind my ear. My head started throbbing so I laid back down next to him and groaned.

"What happened yesterday?" I questioned.

"Well..." he started but was cut of by Beth.

"You lost your shit last night, cut your arms multiple times again, and laughed while asking everyone Why so serious?' " she summed up as she stood in the doorway, "Ohh and Ryan, mom want's you." I laid there in the bed while he got up and left the room.

"Did I really?" I asked and covered my face.

"You're psycho Kelly, you need help." she stated.

"I do not!" I screamed, "Why don't you just get out and leave me alone!" I rolled over and laid there staring at the wall. Who was she to tell me what I do and don't need? She's not my mother. I laid there in the silence of the room, observing my wrapped up arms, and thinking about what happened. Was I really psycho? My parents are...and so was I.