Poetry?

// v i b e //

*// d o n t k i l l t h e v i b e , b r o //*

i know it seems pathetic

writing of pain only perceived inside our brains

it's still pain, though i am ashamed nonetheless

i tried to trip with anxiety medicine

but all it did was make me worse

we'll try again until we find what works

for when everything comes crashing in

and you have no one

music and drugs and art are there

i used to heal the hurt with blades and scissors

pierce the skin and bleed the sin

the scabs are the most fun after the cuts stop weeping

i am not in the wrong, i was only doing what i felt right

no trips to the therapist when your therapist is flowing blood cells and plasma

i thought the cure was inside

some days it still feels like it is

though the thought is insensitive and pathetic

i yearn for someone, something to always be there

hold my hand and my tears

whisper calm words to tranquilize me when frantic

feel something other than alone and unworthy and a mistake

i want to rip out the parts of me that hurt

all the misdoing and misguiding and all the superficial transgressions

they tear me apart and will not leave

they won't leave me alone

i can't take it, the combination of poisons

help me escape my mind, please

please please please please please

i don't deserve anything good after all the stupid things i've done

i deserve pain, suffering, loneliness, payback

repent repent repent repent repent repent

no matter how much i try, it will never be enough

i'm aware of how much of a piece of worthless shit i am

yet i still cannot extinguish my life

i want to, need to, should

but the fragments of motivation hold me back

when i do die, eternal damnation awaits me

it is needed to pay for my sins, repay my debts

"flesruoy llik"

if only i could

if only if only if only if only if only if only