The Lorèn Project [Discontinued]

Chapter 16

"No one's opinion matters except your own."

~~~

Evan and I stood awkwardly in his room as we looked out the window. Sharing a room with a man that's not that much older than me was something I had never expected to ever do. We didn't speak but we didn't move away either, standing quietly in each others presence is all we could manage.

I peeked over to gauge his expressions constantly, wondering what he's thinking. His cold hard exterior made him a lot like the captain as he didn't show his true emotions. He was either mad or just didn't care about anything.

I couldn't help but wonder what the real Evan is like. Is he kind and outgoing? Or is he arrogant and rude like the captain? I wish I could know more about him but he's so guarded I can see it very clearly.

I stood up slowly and made my way towards the bedroom door.
I needed some fresh air away from all the tension in the room. It's not that I don't enjoy Evan's company, it's just awkward.

When I stood up to move towards the door Evan whipped his head in my direction and startled me. I trip over my own feet as he caught me off guard and I tumbled to the floor but I never made contact with it. There was no pain or sizzling noises; I was in Evan's arms, my face pressed against his chest. He stiffened as if in distress so I look up and see his eyes wide in shock. I look at where my face was once pressed into his hard chest and notice I had burned a hole in the shirt.

I jumped up quickly and backed away before sprinting toward the door, not even looking back as I ran away. I wasn't sure where I was going to go but I couldn't stay there.

I heard a muffled 'Wait!' but I didn't stop to listen to his pleas. I wouldn't be able to handle anymore verbal abuse from anyone. I'm a monster that no one should ever have to be near and now another knows my secret.

It's unbearable to think of someone you care about or begin to get along with for them to only have them afraid of you in the end. I have to keep my distance from everyone it's the best thing for everyone.

As I think this I walk away with an odd sense of foreboding and look around the hall to see if someone's nearby. I don't see anyone but my uneasiness was increasing a rapid pace. I couldn't see anyone but I could feel their presence. I must have become well aware of my surroundings over the past years with my constant attempts of avoiding people.

~~~

I stood stock still in the doorway of my bedroom, still surprised at what had happened just now. I slowly looked down at my shirt and surely enough, there was still a hole from where she somehow had burned me.

I'm shocked at how she managed to do so as I didn't see her take out any source of poison nor did she have a foreboding sense to her. Its as if she was scared of herself in a sense that not even I can comprehend. I softly rubbed the fabric around the hole and it was course from the burn but I still couldn't figure out how she managed to do this. I watched her every movement and she didn't move nor did she have anything in her hands.

Its as if she burnt me with nothing but herself, and in a weird way; I want to believe that things like that only happen in fairy tales.

I continued to fiddle with the small hole in my shirt fascinated with the idea that Aya may have burned me without my realizing it. It was a weird sense of excitement but no one has ever been able to get close enough to me to hurt me without my noticing and it intrigued me.

"What a weird girl..." I mumble to myself as I stare off at the door, imagining her retreating form.

~~~

I was currently outside in the cool night air reminiscing about the times where my father would make me my favorite strawberry pancakes and everything was normal. I missed him so much.

I couldn't help but to think back to when I seen the captain fighting and for some odd reason; I found myself entranced with learning to use a sword. It might be unrealistic to some people but I want to learn not only for myself but for everyone I care about.

If I asked him to teach me would he? I feel like I would only burden him and he'd refuse immediately. I guess It couldn't hurt to ask him in the morning, although, I can feel the rejection in the air already and he doesn't even know I want to learn.

The only issue I will have to deal with is my sleeping arrangements. I can't go back to that room and show my face to Evan after everything that just happened. If I did, he would probably question me like the captain does. At the same time though, I'm technically supposed to be sharing a room with him. The one I was in has been reoccupied or so I've been told.

I have to go back to that room but it makes me nervous to go back. What's going to happened when I walk through that door again? Will he attack me and kill me for attempting to hurt him? Or will he send me to the captain to deal with? If he does that, the captain will feed me to the fish or even worse!

I let out an exasperated breath and walk towards our room. Even though I'm upset and don't want to go back, it's the only place to sleep.

I'll just try my best to ignore Evan and go right to sleep. I need to speak with the captain tomorrow morning then everything will finally start to fall into place. Hopefully.

I finally make it back to the room which I've learned to be at the opposite end of the ship. I'm currently standing in front of the door, pacing around because I'm nervous to face him. I'm not even sure he's awake or not but I'm afraid he'll despise me. I might not know Evan very well but that doesn't stop me from wanting positive relationships with people.

I hope to one day be friends with him, he's a very respected and reserved person and I admire him for that. To be so mature and serious about working all the time at a young age is a very admirable thing.

The more I think about it though, the more I begin to realize that I really don't know anyone that well. Not even my own father, I don't know anything about his life or his interests. Aside from his love for me and my mother, he's never focused on anything but us. I know nothing about my own family, nothing at all...