You're (Not) My Hero | TomTord

Chapter 15

//Warning for minor alcoholism and for emotional abuse.//

24 December

Patryck shook as he sat in the lobby. Paul held his hand as Patryck reread the note.

Hey dads! Ha, I never thought that I would be writing this note. Well, a year back I had written one, but I don't think that I was as serious as this. I mean, obviously. I'm dead now, right? Maybe. I don't know. I want to to tell you that it wasn't your fault. It was never your fault. You guys were great and you did everything for me. It...It was just me. I couldn't stand me any longer. I don't know how the hell you put up with me for so long. Jesus, I'm sorry.

Paul, I know that I disappointed you, even if you said that I didn't. I wasn't your blood family, something that you used to pride yourself on. I know that I caused you and Patryck a lot of problems, especially when I was younger. I'm sorry. I know that you and Patryck already had it rough and I just ruined it for you guys. Everything that you worked hard for, I ruined. I'm sorry.

Patryck, I know that you have such bad anxiety and I can't imagine what this is doing to you right now. I'm so sorry. I know that you always wanted me to tell you everything, but I knew that I couldn't. You cared so much and I never wanted to make you hurt. Well, that's kind of ironic...huh? You're probably in so much pain right now and I can't say sorry enough.

I love you both so much. I'm sorry that I got in the way of the life that you wanted.

~

Edd held Matt close as Matt cried. Edd was fighting back tears of his own, but he had to be strong for Matt.

"I tried Edd, I wanted to talk to him, I never thought that this would happen," Matt cried. "It's my fault, I should've noticed. He trusted me to know what it was like and I let him down."

"No, Matt, you didn't. This entire thing isn't your fault," Edd whispered.

Hey, Matt. How are you? I'm a little drunk while writing this, so sorry if I ramble too much.

Matt, you and Edd are like brothers to me, I'm not going to lie. You've all been through so much that I'm sorry to bring my shitty presence into your life. Well, worry no more! I'll be gone forever...just the way that everyone wanted it, right?

I'm sorry Matt. I'm really going to miss you, Edd, and Tom, but I'm sure you will all move on. I wasn't that important or memorable anyway. Please, please don't miss me when I'm gone.

I also promised that I was going to tell you what happened.

It was that one day that no one was here but me. I don't know why out of all the days in a school year, it had to be that day that I was alone. Fate made the stars align to make up my mind, yeah? School started off pretty shitty. I wasn't in a good mood to begin with but the fact that it felt like all of the student body was literally trying to fuck me over didn't feel great. Everything was kind of just building up. You guys know that I haven't been in the bounciest of moods, but I don't think that this could have come at a more inopportune style.