Smashed Pianos ~ Liam Gallagher

DRAWING SMILES

Liam doesn't show up to our session and I don't think I really ever actually expected him to, but even so, I wait in vain hope that he might appear behind me, that snide smirk and messy hair smothering his eyes. But he doesn't.

"You've been stood up love." The librarian pats my shoulder solemnly but I can tell she's enjoying this; having us in her library is clearly a massive inconvenience to her.

I nod meekly and pack up my things, trudging back to the form room where he'll be sat undoubtedly scowling into space, refusing to make eye contact. I shudder at the thought, not really wanting to get involved in any confrontation right now, I'm too knackered.

But he's not in the form room.

All throughout double English I scribble sketches of his face in my notepad, the same one he retrieved for me on my first day. Tom Mill leans over to take a look but I quickly slam the pad shut and shoot a glare at him. He's always been an interfering twat. Tom turns away and busies himself with drawing a huge penis onto Lee Harp's textbook cover in permanent ink whilst Lee is staring out of the window. He even adds the extra details like the spunk and foreskin. Quite committed if you ask me. I chuckle and reach for my notepad and carry on with my sketches, I want to draw him smiling, but I haven't seen him smiling enough to put it on paper. Instead I sketch him with his head tilted up, hair framing his face as he peers up into the weeping clouds, lips a thin line, eyes shaking with wonder. The bell rings abruptly and we pack away, immediately people start bickering and shouting over each other. It's carnage.

I creep out of the room and ignore Tom's following gaze, taking myself to the front gates to wait for Ruth. Recently she's been meeting me later and later, which makes me feel a tad suspicious. It's really not like Ruth to be late for anything; even something she desperately doesn't want to do like get her hair cut or going to see dad.

I sit on the wall and put my notebook on the stone beside me, not having enough space in my bag for it, what with all the seemingly useless crap this school makes us bring, textbooks we never even use, equipment we don't need. All bollocks. Just flushing money down the loo in my opinion.

A couple of lads run past kicking a football into the street whilst Casey and Isabella's bus drives in the opposite direction.

A few of Ruth's classmates walk to the bus stop, a girl I recognise who came round to the house last Tuesday for tea. But no Ruth.

She's a sensible girl and I know I don't need to panic but I can't help it- "You've been drawin' me." At first I don't hear his voice amidst my scattered thoughts, but I soon recognise the raspy tone, bleak sounding and ruined by cigarettes and burning alcohol.

I snatch my book away from the scruffy lad and make room for in my bag by taking out some philosophy textbook I've never even opened. "It's not you." I mutter, turning my head away from him, mousy waves getting caught in the slight tingling breeze.

"Ah, so it's my twin brother Harry who lives in me basement?"

I feel a laugh rising up my throat but I stop myself, being reminded of how hurt this pillock has made me feel these last couple of weeks.

"They're good sketches-" he tries again, but I won't let him.

"It's not you."

Liam sighs and walks away from me, just like he did after the party. Always running away from his problems.

I take out my notebook and tear the page away from the binder, scrunching it up and leaving it sat on the wall as Ruth comes to greet me.

"Where have you been?" I link arms with her and drag her down the street.