No Regrets

Part One

The world isn't over yet
We've still got a chance to place our bets
We both made a little mess
Nothing our two hearts can't put back
I'll never love you less
Don't let your worries second guess
We'll start over fresh, living a life with no regrets

No Regrets by MAGIC!

They were done. Case closed.  No court in the country would find these killers innocent. But he wasn't feeling the relief he thought he would. He could call the airline and bump his flight up to this evening, be home in time to catch the end of the Blackhawks game with his brother, see his girl, but he didn't feel the pull to get home like he probably should. The case he'd been sent to New York for had been brutal but thankfully they'd wrapped it up in just over a week. He'd enjoyed working with the Major Case Squad in New York on this one. The climate here seemed a little less hostile than in Chicago at the moment. The weather had been nicer too, spring in full swing. He half considered doing something touristy with his last twenty four hours here. Taking in the sights, spending some time near the water.

There was something else keeping him from hopping on the next flight out too. Somewhere in this city there was a tiny brunette who apparently still had a small hold on him. He'd felt the pull towards her as soon as the plane had touched down at JFK. He caught himself scanning the crowded streets on his commute from hotel room to precinct each morning and taking a second look at all the women with long brown hair while in line at the coffee shop.  Not surprisingly, none of them had been her.

He hadn't realized she was still in his blood when he'd started dating Michelle seven months ago. He'd thought he'd pushed Erin out of his head. She'd left, without so much as a good bye text, and he'd quietly put his mother's ring back in the safety deposit box and focused on moving on with his life.

Then the minute Voight had called him into his office, saying he was sending Jay to New York to assist with catching their serial killer, feelings he'd buried deep started fighting for space in his head.

He'd had dinner with Michelle that evening, to say good bye. She'd pouted momentarily but he couldn't be annoyed with her, he was bailing last minute and leaving her to attend her family reunion weekend on her own after all. Then she'd suggested maybe he could make it up to her by moving in together when he got home. 

It wasn't her fault he couldn't help but be pulled back to the last time, the only time he'd lived with a woman. Things with Erin had been amazing. Until they weren't. Until he'd gone and screwed it up. And just when he was about to make things right she'd disappeared. The trip down memory lane had him wondering if he was really any good at this relationship thing.  Would he just mess things up with Michelle the way he had Erin? He didn't want to hurt Michelle that way. She was a sweet girl. Nat had introduced them. Actually she'd tricked Jay into a blind double date with her and Will, but he supposed he should forgive her since things had apparently worked out well so far. But would they stay that way if they moved in together?

Jay had spent the last week wondering maybe if he saw Erin, got to actually say goodbye to her, maybe he could make a real go of things with Michelle. She'd been gone a year now but apparently there was still something holding him back from fully committing to another woman.

"Hey man, bunch of us are gonna grab some grub and beers, you wanna join?" Detective Zack Mitchell called to Jay, breaking him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, sure that be great!"

/

"So what's it really like man, working in Chicago? We've heard some pretty crazy stories," Zack asked as he downed the last of his first beer. The other guys at the table turned their attention on Jay, curious if the news had it right. Was Chicago really the war zone the media made it out to be?