Theodosia's bedroom was filled with giggles as she told Frances and Mary the tale of Philip Hamilton and her escapade, or as she liked to call it, The Butterfly Incident. "Theo, your life is so amazing!" Frances exclaimed in between fits of laughter. "What? You must be mad!" Theo pushed the girl into her pillows playfully.
"No, it really is! Think. Your father is Aaron Burr, one of the richest men in the city, you can basically roam this beautiful city on your own now, and the love of your life -who is currently in the house, mind you- loves you back!" Mary squealed. Frances nodded in agreement. "I am not in love with him!" Theodosia clutched a soft beige pillow close to her chest.
Frances and Mary sighed, exchanging annoyed looks. "Sorry. You're just infatuated!" They teased. "And wait!" Theodosia sat up. "Why would he be in love with me?"
"Let me explain." Mary began. "No...how do you say...sensible man...would do something like that to a girl like you!"
Now it was Theodosia's turn to sigh. She flung herself back onto her bed, still clutching the pillow. "And what would a girl like me be?" Frances began tugging on one of Mary's golden ringlets. "A girl like you is a girl who is amazing...and gorgeous...and an amazing artist, and...perfect in every way imaginable."
"I'm not perfect," Theodosia said. Frances rolled her eyes. "Please, even I would marry you!" Theo smiled. "You take after your father, Frances." Mary giggled, earning a shove from Frances. She fell dramatically on the floor. "Oh! Where is Philip when I need him?" She cried out. The room filled with laughter, but it was soon interrupted by one of the maids. "Miss Burr? Your father wants to see you." The three girls' eyes widened. Theodosia looked at her friends, then back at the maid. "Miss Burr?" She took a breath. "Tell him I'll be right there." The maid nodded and curtseyed.
Mary's mouth dropped open. "Oh, mon amour! " Frances gave her a look of pity, but she was clearly biting back a smile. "Girls. You know my father only wants to see me in grave situations..." The two nodded. "...and you know Philip Hamilton, the son of Alexander Hamilton, my father's archenemy, his lifelong opponent, is currently in my house. They nodded once more. "Oh, heavens. My father just murdered the love of my life, didn't he?" She chuckled nervously. "Well," She stood up, smoothing her dress. "I am off to go bury the corpse of the boy I wish to marry!" Theo swiftly turned and made her way down the stairs. "Have fun!" Mary called after her. "You might want to consider tossing him in the pond near his house instead of burying him!" Frances teased.
Theodosia stopped in front of the door of her father's study. She took a deep breath and softly knocked twice on the door, exactly how her father wanted her to. She remembered the day her father asked -no, forced- her to knock that way.
She was twelve. It was a little over a year after her mother had died. She had just been playing in the garden with Mary, but she fell and cut her cheek. She ran into Aaron's study sobbing. "Papa, papa! " Theodosia wailed, climbing on top of his lap. Aaron's usual stressed, but content, face was replaced with annoyance and anger. He shoved her off of him and shook his head as she fell to the floor, still weeping.
"You should know to never interrupt me while I'm working, Theodosia. I didn't raise you to be pathetic, I raised you to be the prodigy you are! Now, leave the room and knock twice. Softly." Theodosia sniffled and looked up at her father, tears streaming down her face. "Go." He continued reading and ignored his daughter until she crawled to her feet and trudged sadly to the door. She closed it behind her and wiped her eyes, trying her hardest to look strong. She touched the cut on her cheek and winced. Her finger had droplets of blood on it. She wiped it on her dress and sighed. She softly knocked on the door twice, just like her father asked. She cracked the door open and looked at her father.
Without looking up, he murmured, "Very good. Do that every time you want to visit. And only visit if it's important. I don't want to hear any childish nonsense. Now, run along now. I'm busy."
"Come in." Aaron's low voice interrupted Theo's thoughts. She stepped inside the study. "You asked for me, father?" He looked up at her, eyes dark."Theodosia."
She gulped. "Y-yes, father?"
"Philip Hamilton stopped by today, Theodosia. Did you know that?"
"I-"
"Do not even consider lying to me, Theodosia." When Aaron was angry, he tended to repeat her name as if it was the devil's name. "I...did, yes, father." She looked down at her feet. "And?"
She took a moment to think about how she would word what she was about to say. "We had an...encounter...in the garden today." His eyes filled with fury. "You had an encounter..." He whispered violently. "It was nothing, father!" She cried. "He was just saying hello! He told me he was to give you a note from Alexander, and...father, I swear nothing happened-"
"Quiet!" He shouted. Theodosia froze. Aaron had never yelled at her before. In fact, she had never heard him yell. He usually would scold her, but nowadays, they rarely spoke. "You never listen to me, do you, Theodosia? I let you roam the city on your own, I let you invite the daughters of the friends of Alexander Hamilton over, I let you basically do anything you want! And this is how you repay me? By disobeying one of the few rules I set?" Theodosia kept her mouth shut, for she was too scared. As her father continued screaming at her, she felt something white-hot burning in her stomach. She recognized it as rage. Theo tried to swallow it, to just wait until her father was done, and then leave.
"I didn't raise you to be like this!" And that was it. Those eight words were all it took for her to resign her position as 'Polite Little Theodosia'.
"Then how did you raise me to be?" Aaron stopped, taken aback. "Like you? Distant? Cold? Unloving? Sorry, father, but you definitely went wrong there! I'm not like you! I am capable of loving someone!" Theo was too caught up in the moment to realize what she had confessed. And at this point, it was too late to fix what she had said.
Aaron was shaking. "You...love..."
She sighed. "Fine, yes. I am...in love with Philip Hamilton. Are you happy now?" She earned no response at all. "I have loved him since the day I met him. Yes, when I was two years old, I fell in love with Philip Hamilton. I always have, and I always will. Of course, I never told you, because you were never there for me!" She decided that was the perfect cue to leave dramatically. She spun around quickly and strode out of the room, making sure to slam the door behind her.
"I just ruined my life, didn't I?"
