This Is... Reality

The world ish falling

-the time is 2016 in the beginning of the school year-

Heart is pounding like a base drum and your mind is just buzzing with words,ideas, pictures, simulations you create. Unfortunately,you don't really say anything,your friends don't even truly ask how you're doing. But you understand. They don't need to worry about a person because they're working about school,their social life and balancing out their emotions. Instead,asked of how they were doing. You're going into 8th grade. Nothing totally prepared you for all the crap the world was going to throw at you within one year.

Week of school,one. I take a deep breath in. Exhale out. As I do this, I'm walking upstairs to my new high schooler locker. The only person you talk to is your best friend. But within this week she ignores you a little more and talks to her other friends. You understand that she hasn't talked to some of her old friends in a while. Then you remember the times you spent with your best friend neighbor, Ashley, you start to tear up but you hide it and go on.

Months of school,third month. I feel like a tree out in a dessert. I get more and more pissed and frustrated because I don't understand the reason why I was so lonely. My best friend helped me separate from the girl I called a best friend last year and yet she doesn't necessarily has to be friends with ever person I'm friends with,but yet it felt like the same treatment from the people that helped my best friend ignore me,like my shy voice yelled in a cafeteria where you can't tell if the kids were screaming or getting murdered. I know it's not her old friends faults. She's the one who's forgetting their best friend... It's now New Year's Eve,I decide to go on your new tablet from your parents. I eventually found a socializing app and then think about my loneliness. I think, I might as well... I've befriended a new person. I feel so much happier than I have these last past months.

Months of school, four months and one week. My best friend and I got into a fight. She talks about you behind your back and her other best friend has to tell you that. I fight off the tears. When I came home from school and went to bed crying my eyes out. One of the only times I cried that much.

About not too long after that. I'm currently doing a Science project. It's on dinosaurs. You're excited to do this project. Your best friend stole the first idea from your head. Then wha-bam, I forgot what I was doing because all of my ideas flew out of my head,like someone was grabbing it out of my head. I look at best friend. She's pissed. I don't know why. Then I remember about the project and thought she was angry about the project. Apparently not, she sends me an email that sends my world spiraling I think of the song sugar we're going down. One part of the email says, "I don't need you..." I was so curious if she was using me like a person to talk to when you were lonely when you weren't able to talk to your real friends. Then I thought of how one sided your relationship was with her,she never said sorry for when she started arguments,she even called me a b*tch when I didn't know what to say to her and she assumed that I was giving her the silent treatment. She usually talked about herself. This sh*t was eating at me like maggots eating a dead body, I can't do much about it tho,how person other than what I think.

Two months after. I've calmed down significantly about what happened. My best friend acts like she never sent me that email.

Now. Some of my internet friends, TheSecretWriterIsMe CubileChir,and I probably would've done suicide,but I made myself a promise to at least meet my best friends  in real life and hang out because, why not? And to forgive more even if I feel like I shouldn't, it's not good to hold grudges...