Terra Novus

Chapter Four

After dinner, we sat in the cramped kitchenette made dining room in Jade and I's shared dorm. The rooms here were cramped and hodge-podge. Novus did their best to turn this ancient soldier's barracks into little apartments for their workers. Jade had covered the grimy wall with posters and photographs of trees, nature scenes, and adorable animals. She liked to remember the time before the war, and said it helped her remember why she's a part of Novus. I would think it only perpetuated Greenpeace's idea of going back in time and constantly reliving the past. 

"I want to move on, I don't want to forget." she would say. 

"Coffee?" Drake's voice snapped me from my thoughts. I nodded, accepting the mug she gave me. I could see tiny dust particles floating in the top of the artificially flavored coffee, but we had all gotten used to the soot that constantly hung in the air. In our water, no matter how purified, in our food, in our buildings, in our clothes. No matter how hard Novus or Greenpeace tried, the grime remaining from the apocalypse clung to us like the horrid memories of the war.

"Here it is." Alex announced, bent over a large tablet each team had been given when Novus first started. 

"Edgar James, president of the scientific research program branch of the New Greenpeace," Alex read aloud, "in an interview with NWN, claims that Grayson Felix 'has lied and disillusioned his cult followers into believing that the human race can really survive in space.' James went on to say that his researchers have discovered that it is, in fact, scientifically impossible. 'They're being led into a death trap.' The president says..." 

"Bullshit." Drake scoffed. Jade sighed, setting her mug down. 

"He's really grasping at straws here, isn't he?" 

"He just needed to set that doubt just as we're about to explain the science of it all to the public." Drake said. 

"But his supporters don't know that. They don't know that he's just planting doubt. They don't know that Greenpeace has no research team. Not of the true scientific nature, anyway." Alex shrugged, shutting off the tablet. He sounded like he was trying too hard to sound smart.

"The truth'll come out. The Ambassador has already given us the go-ahead. She trusts us, and our scientists." Let's hope it stays that way. I thought.

---

That night, I stood in front of the bathroom sink, staring blankly at the pill bottle in my hands. No more sleeping pills, and it would be months before I could afford more. I slammed the mirror door shut. You'll be fine. I told myself. Dreams can't hurt you. But it wasn't getting hurt I was afraid of. It's reliving the dread and fear through vivid nightmares. During the day, you can distract yourself, but at night, it's just you and your troubled mind. A light knock came at the door. 

"You alright?" Jade's voice came. 

"Yep." I sighed, turning and opening the door. "You need in?" 

She nodded. I stepped out, looking past her and hurrying to my room as I heard the bathroom door click shut. Shutting the door behind me, I took in my surroundings, trying to ground myself. No more panic attacks tonight. I forced myself to smile softly. I'll be fine... I couldn't sleep with the light on, as Novus shut off power at night to reserve energy. I glared at the dark ceiling, waiting for morning light to come before I let myself sleep.