Happy beginnings and Sad endings

Chapter four - behind closed doors

After I started self harming, I developed a bad case of anorexic. I never told anyone about this. People would always questioning and ask why they never saw me eating. But I always told them i wasn't hungry or i had just eaten. I never told anyone about my problem because to tell the truth, I just didn't want the help. I wasn't happy with myself. I wasn't proud of what i was becoming. I needed the help, that much was obvious. But I didn't want it. Even though my friends were a big part of my life. They didn't know what I was like behind closed doors. They thought I was happy. That I felt ok and safe. Maybe if I had just told them what I was like when no one was around. What I was doing to myself could have been prevented. I was slowly killing myself. With no cure to this sickness I had inside of me. I felt like I was sinking. Just hoping to be saved from this never-ending darkness I trapped myself in. I somehow learnt to live with some of the problems I had. I had so much weight placed onro my shoulders and I'm surprised I didn't collapse. I just hope that my problems don't have a huge impact in my life. And I hope I don't stay in this darkness forever.