The Girl With the Broken Smile

Intro

There was screaming, some crying. I didn't really know what was going on. All I knew was that there was blood on my hands. As my eyes drifted towards my arms, there was more blood as well as cuts. Same with my legs. Why was there so much blood and not any pain? There was blood in the sink and my razor lay in a pool of dark red blood.

I just wanted to sleep. There was so much screaming though so how could I? Then I remembered that I had my sleeping pills. I took six.

The sink was bloody, my clothes were bloody, the ground was bloody. I didn't know that I could bleed that much, it never happened before. Soon I fell down into the most peaceful sleep I've ever had.

"Jaime."
I snap back into reality. I look up and a woman was there, sitting behind a large brown desk in the middle of the room. Her legs were crossed and a black binder was in her lap.
"Jaime, how are you feeling?"
I looked at my arms, scars decorated them. How was I feeling? I didn't know for sure. I looked at the desk again where a name tag stood. Doctor Walsh P.H.D.
"I feel nothing."
She wrote something in her notes, I didn't care that much as to what it was.
"Jaime, your mom called this morning. She wanted to know how you were."
I chuckled.
"Something funny?"
"Yeah" I responded. "I think it's funny that she's now concerned about me. Where was she when I was crying myself to sleep every night? Where was she when I needed school supplies? Where was she when I needed my mom?"
Tears started to fill my eyes. But I sat back and looked at my jagged nails. I had been biting them a lot lately. The nurses became concerned so they cut them and filed them.
"I know that people can be difficult and you have had a rough past, but it would be better for you to either forgive or forget. Try to come to terms with your past."
I looked at her, her square black glasses framed her hazel eyes so well. Her blonde hair loosely curled in front of her face. I admired her, yet I was angry.
"Come to terms?" I paused and sat up "You want me to come to terms with my past?"
"I believe that would be better for you."
I laughed hysterically. Then I stood up and threw my hands on her desk. "You have no idea what I've been through or what my past has done, so don't say that you think it's best for me. If you were me, you'd have been dead a long time ago."

She looked a bit puzzled at first, maybe it was shock. "Well, why don't you tell me about your past?" She pushed up her glasses up her nose. I looked around her room everything looked almost the same, white. Lots of sunlight came through the window.

"Jaime."
I looked at her. She leaned forward a little and put the leg she was crossing down. She took off her glasses and held them in her hand.
"I cant help you unless you talk to me. Just start from the beginning."
I started to think back. It felt like a never ending nightmare. Suddenly I look back at my arms and they were covered in blood again I looked up and Doctor Walsh was me. All bloody, my messy bun was even more of a mess. I looked dead and exhausted, yet relieved.

I blink.
Suddenly I'm in a different room. My room. My real room. Was this a dream? Did I imagine talking to Doctor Walsh? Suddenly my door opens, it was Kaleb. My mom's most recent boyfriend.
"Hey there Jaime, your mom just left to the store to go pick up a few things." I looked at him with a little fear.
"Okay, that's...fine." I started walking towards my bed. I just wanted to be alone. For some reason I didn't feel safe around him, he never did anything to me.

"Do you wanna have some fun?"

I froze.
His voice had changed, I knew exactly who's it belonged to now. I slowly start to turn my head.
He walked over to the side of my bed and sat down. I could smell it on him. He was high and drunk.
He strokes my cheek and puts my hair behind my ear.
"We can have a little fun, can't we?"

Suddenly I'm not 16, I'm 12. I only knew because I looked in the mirror that was attached to my closet door.

Fear was flowing through my veins now as he stroked my hair and put his face closer to mine. I knew what he was doing, but how could I stop it? His hand drifts towards my skirt. I panicked. I took my bag filled with all my books and I threw it at him.

Everything happened so fast, I just ran to the door when he grabbed me. I was kicking and screaming but no one came to help. He pinned me down to the bed and began to undo his belt.
"Uncle Joey...please don't do this to me again."