doctor who jokes and quotes. inspired by my bow tie wearing alien lover

chapter eleven

authors.note- i would do a best of eleven chapter, but I feel like I need a joke today so... here's the joke.

have you heard that sigma, the master, and the abzorbaloff are making a new movie?

it's called the ood, the bad and.the ugly.

authors note- that made me feel slightly better..oh ok, I Will do the best of eleven as well this chapter just for you.  ;-)

best of eleven.

Geronimo!

"Bow ties are cool."

"Come along, Pond!

"Yowzah!"

Legs! I've still got legs! [kisses one of them.] Good. Arms, hands. Ooh, fingers. Lots of fingers. Ears? Yes. Eyes: two. Nose...I've had worse. Chin - blimey! Hair... [notes length.] I'm a girl! [checks Adam's apple.] No! No! I'm not a girl! [pulls a lock of his hair in front of his eyes and looks at it, agitated] And still not ginger! There's something else. Something... important, I'm...[taps head.] I'm... I'm... [The whole console room shakes. the Doctor laughs, ecstatic] Crashing! [As the burning TARDIS falls to Earth, the Doctor clings to the console, laughing and whooping with glee.] Geronimo!

All of time and space; everywhere and anywhere; every star that ever was. Where do you want to start?

The Doctor: And what sort of job's a kissogram?

Amy Pond: I go to parties and I...kiss people... [clears throat] with outfits. It's a laugh!

The Doctor: You were a little girl five minutes ago!

Amy Pond: You're worse than my aunt!

The Doctor: I'm the Doctor; I'm worse than everybody's aunt! [catches himself] And that is not how I'm introducing myself.

[Prisoner Zero takes on the Doctor's form.]

The Doctor: Now, that's rubbish; who's that supposed to be?

Rory: Well, that's you!

The Doctor: Me?! Is that what I look like?

Rory: You don't know?

The Doctor: Busy day.

Atraxi: You are not of this world.

The Doctor: No, but I've put a lot of work into it. [looking at different ties he might wear] Hm, I dunno...what do you think?

Atraxi: Is this world important?

The Doctor: "Important?" What's that mean, "important?" Six billion people live here; is that important? And here's a better question: is this world a threat to the Atraxi? [pause] Well, come on, you're monitoring the whole planet. Is this world a threat?

[The eye scans through images of the human race.]

Atraxi: No.

The Doctor: Are the peoples of this world guilty of any crime by the laws of the Atraxi?

Atraxi: [scanning through more images] No.

The Doctor: Okay! One more, just one. Is this world protected?

[The Atraxi scans through pictures of Cybermen, Daleks, Racnoss, Sea Devils, Slitheen, etc.]

The Doctor: But you're not the first lot to have come here. Oh, there have been so many. And what you've got to ask is...what happened to them?

[The Atraxi shows pictures of the previous incarnations of the Doctor, finishing with an image of the Tenth Doctor that the Eleventh Doctor then steps through.]

The Doctor: Hello. I'm the Doctor. Basically...run.

Amy-its you. You came back.

The Doctor: 'Course I came back, I always come back. Something wrong with that?

Amy: And you kept the clothes.

The Doctor: Well I just saved the world, the whole planet, for about the millionth time, no charge. Yeah, shoot me! I kept the clothes.

Amy: Including the bow tie.

The Doctor: Yeah, it's cool. Bow ties are cool.

Amy: Are you from another planet?

The Doctor: Yeah.

Amy: 'K.

The Doctor: So, what do you think?

Amy: What?

The Doctor: Other planets, wanna check some out?

Amy: What does that mean?

The Doctor: It means, well, it means come with me.

Amy: Where?

The Doctor: Wherever you like.

Amy: All that stuff that happened, the hospital, the spaceships, Prisoner Zero...

The Doctor: Oh, don't worry, that's just the beginning. There's loads more.

Amy: Yeah, but those things, those amazing things, all that stuff... That was two years ago!

The Doctor: Oh... Oops.

Amy: Yeah!

The Doctor: So that's-

Amy: Fourteen years!

The Doctor: Fourteen years since fish custard. Amy Pond, the girl who waited. You've waited long enough.

Amy Pond: When I was a kid, you said there was a swimming pool and a library and the swimming pool was in the library.

The Doctor: Yeah, not sure where it's got to now. It'll turn up. So, coming?

Amy Pond: No.

The Doctor: You wanted to come fourteen years ago.

Amy Pond: I grew up.

The Doctor: Don't worry, I'll soon fix that.

[The Doctor snaps his fingers and the TARDIS door opens.]

Amy: I thought... Well, I started to think you were just a mad man with a box.

The Doctor: Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me 'cause it's important and one day your life may depend on it: I am definitely a mad man with a box.

authors.note- ... well... that's two chapters in one. like.two.in one shampoo though not.shampoo of course and we..  not really like two in one either. forget i ever said shampoo!! lolol.

beth xxx