This Time: Behind Lenses

Chapter 4

Come up to meet you
Tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart...
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I woke up with Christian out of sight, it was like he was never here, no evidence of his presence apart from his scent that were left on my covers. I had a good night, I appreciate his presence a lot. It feels like he's the only guy that can fix me, that can make me whole again.

I got up and checked my computer, to my surprise I saw a message from Taylor last night, I was so caught up with his voice And then Christian came I never really had the time to check it.

Hi L! I hope you like my cover I really need a favor. Can you please copy this in a blank CD? Or in your flash drive I really need to pass that for my music class. Thank you!!

And to my surprise it wasn't for me AT ALL, it was for his music class, great one Taylor and for a second last night I thought you sang it for me, but why will he sing for me? Oh God Louise!! Stop overthinking about everything. I got his audio copied to a blank CD and got ready for school. I did't want to run late. As I went down I saw my father getting ready for work.

"Good morning dad!"

"Good morning Louise! Come, grab a bite. I'll drop you off school today. "

"That you don't have to. "

"I insist."

I grabbed 2 pancakes and 2 strips of bacon and poured maple syrup over them. It looks so good! I ended up having 4 pcs. of pancakes and 3 more pcs. of bacon, it was so good that I didn't care of eating too much. My dad dropped me off at school and went straight to his office. I wonder how is he doing in work, I've hardly had a decent conversation with him especially when we started school.
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I started class and sat at my chair, I saw Taylor but Harley and Claire weren't in yet, so instead of roaming off, I sat quietly at my chair and started studying some of my subjects.

"Hey L! Good to see you. You okay?"

Taylor, of course looked teasing and promising at the same time, he's been looking for bruises on my arms and neck and head. And I suddenly let go.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just banged my head, I didn't jumped off a cliff."

And that was it, I searched through my bag and handed the CD over to him.

"Here, you wanted this copied. "

"Oh yeah, thank you. "

"Welcome, next time please remember to have it copied earlier, you wont be winning any bet if your that bone idle Mr. Collins."

"Yes ma'am"

I never heard a single word, all through out class. I decided to look at my notebook and start writing some poems that I have in mind.

He loves me, he loves me not.
I trust him and he's all I want.
He saves me for just today,
And in the night he goes away.

Tragic but true, oh Christian what can I do to you? I love you, and you love her, and me and you say it's complicated, it is. You can't love two girls at the same time, you'll never love her if you loved me truly, but I am here to make you feel safe, to make you feel loved, just stay.

Bell rings and I went up to the garden, it's cold. Cold as my soul. I've been perfectly happy for awhile, I must admit, But this temporary happiness has made it like a dream, like a euphoria that comes to life in my mind every night before I go to sleep. Louise you are insane, how can you love the guy that cheated on you? And yet here you are savoring him, loving him although you know that he doesn't love you the same, that it isn't you anymore, it's her, it's the short blonde girl with blue eyes, the same girl you saw that night on top of him in his apartment, your world collapsed as we eyed on what was happening, so many questions lingering in your mind and yet the guy That betrayed you, played you is the guy crying in your veranda two nights ago saying she's left him. He's hopeless and I am most certainly ready to have him back even though I know that it's not me anymore, it's her.