may twenty fifth 2:15 am
no sleep. never any sleep. it drives me in - fuckin - sane. i swear i'm starting to hallucinate. the only thing i can actually concentrate on is music, nothing but it. i've been digging mayday parade a lot lately, that band makes me so so so happy.
'hold onto me, hold onto me, don't you ever leave, don't you ever leave' everyone always leaves. the only person that ever pays me any attention is my next door neighbor's five year old, mason.
he's really such a sweetheart, but he gets annoying. i'd be surprised if he weren't up right now, he's always full of so much energy. it's a bit much for me to handle.
isn't insane that i can spend my nights alone, and not be tired at all? i'm always awake though, in all honesty i haven't slept since may thirteenth. crazy. and depression?
that's a whole 'nother story. it is most definitely not fun. i'd been planning a suicide date for a while, but i'm so scared. i don't think i have the guts to do it.
what do you even do? dress nice and just die? that was a joke. i know exactly what to do. i was terrified. scared of my fuckin' mind. i need a ciggarette.
i need to quit. i need to die. i need to live. my emotions were so screwed. i was screwed. it's three am. why is it taking me so long to fall asleep? i hate insomnia. i hate sleeping. these headphones were so shitty, music sounded muffled and i couldn't hear much.
the date was coming though, soon too, i could assure you that. well i'm gonna try and sleep for a bit tonight, let's see if it works. goodnight alegría, yeah i'm naming you that. it means joy, happiness, yanno in spanish. okay, goodnight, see ya tomorrow.
this entry is so small partically because i'm actually really tired but i don't wanna rush into everything yanno okay wow it kinda sucks but i want a trailer to make it interesting anyways feedback? - des
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catastrophe ➵ clifford
Fanfiction❝sleepless nights and long letters, every single word i've ever written to you, i truly meant it all.❞
