Blaze (Book 3 of the Light Series)

Chapter Nine: Gone Too Long

Harry's POV...

Four months, twenty days, seven hours, fifteen minutes, twenty-two seconds..., four months, twenty days, seven hours, fifteen minutes, twenty-three seconds. Time just won't stop. I sit and I wait for a change but there is none. Four months, twenty days, seven hours, fifteen minutes, twenty-four seconds of pure hell..., of missing my wife.., my life.

The matron had been able to save Hermione, partially. She'd stopped her from dying and was keeping her alive but Hermione hadn't moved, hadn't opened her eyes since we had been in the potion's room and she had collapsed. I missed her eyes, her beautiful, intelligent brown eyes. Every time she looked at me.., it was like she saw into my soul. Her gaze always seemed to see straight through me to my deepest thoughts. One glance from Hermione and the world changed for me.

Albus had taken after his mother with his eye color and Lily and James had her facial features and bushy hair. I saw so much of her in our children that it was sometimes difficult to look at them. Lily and James were getting close to their second birthday and all I wanted was for Hermione to be awake for that time.

Everyday, I come sit with her. At first, I refused to leave her side but Mum and Dad had convinced me that I had to keep going or things would pile up and Hermione would kill me when she got up..., if she got up. The matron had moved her to our bedchamber so that she could be near me and the children. I slept beside her at night, wishing she would reach out to me and stroke my cheek the way she would absently do while she slept.

The matron had magic taking care of her bodily functions and keeping her hydrated and nourished. Even with the matrons spells, though, Hermione had lost weight and her cheeks were slightly sunken in. I had vowed that she would eat non-stop when she woke up.., she just hadn't yet. I sat at the foot of the bed, watching over her when I felt a hand touch my shoulder and heard a soft voice saying my name. I turned to see Ginny standing over me.

Over the last four months, she'd become much like her old self but she was haunted. After the matron had stabilized Hermione, she'd come to me and admitted that Hermione had talked to her. In my anger that day, I had exploded on her.

"How could you be so selfish?!" I yelled. "You wanted this so bad that you'd allow her to give her life for you?! She's worth a million of you! Did you ever think about her children?! They need her! What the hell is wrong with you?! Why would you let her go along and do this?! You were her friend! There might have been another way!" I'd bellowed so loud that students began to gather. Ron and Dad had held me back but I pushed them away. "Get off me!" I'd yelled. "You lot wanted this just as much as her! You were all willing to let Hermione get hurt to bring her back! Fuck all of you! Stay away from my family!"

I'd thrown open the door to the room my wife laid dying in and spelled it shut behind me. When the matron had stabilized Hermione, I felt like I could breathe for the first time. I'd wanted our children with us and I'd sent for them, leaving the spell down for them to be brought. Mum had slipped in during that time and she silently approached me, hugging me. My body trembled that day with my sobs of happiness that Hermione wasn't dead. Mum had whispered to me and rocked me in her arms.

When she was gone and I held my children in my arms, guilt set in. Hermione had been the one to insist on doing the spell. It had been her choice and, just like me, none of them could deny her. She knew of the risk and continued on, pushing her self. She loved her family and Ginny was a part of that. She'd wanted to save Ginny no matter what and she had. I couldn't fault Ginny for it.., I couldn't blame anyone.

Since that day, Ginny worked to help around Hogwarts in any way she could. She'd run errands, help out with the students, done anything she was asked. I hadn't once been to my own office in the time since the ritual. Everything I needed was always brought to our bedchamber where I could work and watch over Hermione. The only time I left was for my classes, which I continued to teach before I knew the students needed to see one of us.