Fucked up phanfics

The Bleach Fic

"I knew it hadn't been a dream because it was too vivid, but what I had seen and heard was just too freaking weird to be real."

_____________________

I nearly slipped. I saw Dan scrubbing the floor out of the corner of my eye. And just like I had for the past week or so, I smelled bleach.
"Can't you clean up while I'm not here?" I said, desperately. "The smell makes me feel sick and the floor is really slippery from all the water you've used."
"No can do," said Dan, not even looking up.
His new obsession was bleach. He would spend hours each day scrubbing the apartment, and I began to worry, not only because the fumes were probably dangerous but also because I was worried he had OCD or something. If he saw one tiny fleck on the floor, that was it. All he would do all day was scrub the floor.
"I'm going out," I muttered, and headed to my room to get dressed.
What's he going to bleach next? His hair? I thought.

I sat alone in the café. Dan had texted me, asking where I was and why I had left the apartment.

Because it stinks of bleach, I texted back.

I promise I'm done for today, he replied.

I finished my coffee and stealthily snuck the pistachio muffin into my bag. It was for Dan. His new obsession was a problem, but I still loved him, even more than he loved pistachio muffins.
I walked home with my hands in my pockets, my breath visible in the crisp air around me. We hadn't had any snow yet, and I really wanted it to snow on my birthday, although it seemed quite unlikely.
I hung my coat up and headed to the bathroom for a shower.
I opened the bathroom door and froze. "Dan!" I cried, slamming the door shut. "You should have locked the door."
He laughed from inside the bathroom. "It's only you, Phil."
"I know, but it was unexpected."
"Come in. I want to talk to you."
I gingerly opened the door. He's naked, I thought. Sure, I'd seen him naked before, but this was just awkward.
"What about?" I asked, approaching him. Then I gasped. "Dan! What the fuck? What are you doing?"
He was squatted over a bowl of diluted bleach. I wasn't sure how much it had been diluted but this wasn't safe at all. "This is crazy!" I said, panicking. "What are you trying to do to yourself?"
"I'm trying to lighten my skin," he said sadly.
"This is not the way," I hissed, attempting to take away the bowl. "This stuff is for cleaning. It's not the stuff you use on skin."
"I don't care," he growled, resisting. "I want to make it lighter."
"Make what lighter?"
He stood up in front of me. "I want to make my dick a lighter colour. I'm jealous of yours, Phil. Your skin is so beautiful and pale."
He must have been insane. "Just don't use that type of bleach," I said. "Matter of fact, don't use anything. You'll damage yourself."

There was nothing I could do. Every time I tried to stop him messing around with the bleach, he would hit me, pushing me away.
I heard him groaning. He was probably in pain. I figured the bleach was burning his skin, but there was no point in me trying to help. If he wanted to be stupid, it's not like I could stop him.
"Phil!" he yelled. "I've been soaking myself in the bleach for several minutes and it's starting to tingle. Like, a lot."
"Then stop," I called. "You're the one soaking your meatstick in bleach."
"I'm not stopping," he insisted. "I can feel it burning. It hurts, Phil."
I just sighed.
What the fuck is happening to Dan? I thought.
After five minutes, he was shouting, obviously in a lot of pain. I put my head down onto my pillow and put my earphones in, trying to block the noise out. He was a complete moron. I had tried to help and he wouldn't let me, so I just gave up and went to sleep.

I was awoken by a loud cough from Dan's room. I had been asleep for almost two hours. I knew it hadn't been a dream because it was too vivid, but what I had seen and heard was just too freaking weird to be real.
Had he really bleached his penis?
I heard footsteps and my door burst open. I turned around to see Dan standing in my doorway, stark naked.
"What?" I asked, exasperated and trying not to stare.
"Look!" he yelled. "Look at the state of me!"
I peered over at him. His penis was light pink with various darker pink blotches and spots where a couple layers of skin had been burned off.
"You idiot!" I said. "Why did you do it?"
He didn't reply. He wandered over to where I was laying in bed and pulled the duvet off me. "What do you want?" I asked, as he brought me into the bathroom.
"You up for a little fun?" he smirked.
"I'm not up for any kind of fun," I replied. "Maybe you should be more concerned about getting dressed." I attempted to leave.
He pulled on my sleeve. "Stay, Phil."
The strong chemical smell was very off-putting, but when I looked into Dan's big brown eyes, I suddenly felt inclined to obey. "Fine," I agreed, smiling a little. Then I paused. "What are you planning on doing?"
"Oh, you'll see, but don't worry. I promise it'll be okay as long as we do it right."
Do what right? I thought.

The fumes from the sodium hypochlorite were making my eyes sting and water a little. I knew I was making some kind of mistake, but Dan's calming, masculine voice had a kind of hypnotic effect on me.
"Please make sure it's been diluted enough," I urged.
He nodded. I was almost certain this was going to go horribly wrong.
Dan watched intently as I undressed. He eyed me up and down and it made me feel uncomfortable, but I didn't mention it. "It's ready," he said.
I got into position. I was on the bathroom floor, and I could smell the bleach stronger than ever before. He tilted the jug and began to pour the diluted bleach into my ass. At first it tingled. Then it really tingled. A little too much.
"I think this was a bad idea," I panicked. "How much did you dilute it?"
"One cup of bleach per gallon of water."
"You idiot!" I shouted as the pain slowly set in. "That's too much bleach! Now what?"
He didn't answer. He didn't care. He grabbed my waist and penetrated me, making me gasp with surprise.
"Now's not the time!" I said, but I couldn't help succumbing to his actions. He was so big, and he was too wonderful for me to resist him. He was practically pounding me as I felt the diluted bleach fizzing away at my intestinal tract. It was starting to hurt more and more and I knew I was in danger, but I didn't want Dan to pull out because he felt so wonderful. We probably wouldn't be able to get all the bleach out anyway.
It wasn't hot but it burned terribly, and for some reason Dan just didn't care. I was sure he could feel it too, and after what he'd done to himself, it probably hurt.
"You know what?" he muttered. "I've got a better idea." I felt him pull out of me. I was confused, so I stayed where I was.
He began to pour something else inside of me. I screamed instantly. "Dan, stop!" I shouted, realising what he was doing. "You're going to kill me!"
"Serves you right for not trying to help me when I nearly burned my dick off!" Dan snarled.
"I tried to help you," I sobbed as I wandered away in agony, feeling my insides melting and peeling away. He hadn't poured much but it was enough. It was completely undiluted. I had to do something or I was going to die. Was this his plan all along? What the hell made him think this was a good idea?
I was keeled over, my arms pressed against my lower abdomen as the extreme pain seared up and down. I was crying as the chemical eroded and oxidised my intestinal tract.

Dan just wouldn't stop. I was crippled, in severe danger, and all he was concerned about was trying to fuck me.
He grabbed my waist and I gasped loudly as he made the pain worse. "It wasn't even that much," he said.
That wasn't the point. It was enough, and enough was too much.
I felt him penetrate me again, the skin from his burnt member being peeled even more when he thrusted into me. It was a truly horrible experience, but he still felt so amazing even when I was in so much pain from having my organs burned from the inside.
I cried out loudly with both pleasure and pain. His huge cock brushed past the bloody, partially melted, burned walls of my rectum and it was absolutely agonising but incredibly beautiful all at once.

Not mine.